Page 336 of Born of Blood and Ash

Penellaphe’s steps slowed. Shecleared her throat. “I wanted to see how you were but didn’t want to ask inthere.”

“I’m…” I started to tell her I was okay but had a feelingshe knew better. She’d seen me immediately after what I’d done. I took a deepbreath, forcing myself to meet her gaze. It was strange seeing her with thesilver eyes of a Primal. “I’ve been better.”

A look of sympathy flickered across her features. Not pity.“I didn’t get a chance to say this before. I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.” I exhaled long and slow. “How are you?”

“I’m okay.” Her brow creased. “But I do feel a bit weird.Like I’m myself but…not.”

A half-grin tugged at my lips. “I know the feeling.”

She nodded. “Holland said it will eventually fade.”

“It does.” Mostly. But I figured I’d keep that part tomyself. “I don’t think I really gave you much of a choice when it came to thewhole Ascension thing.”

“It’s okay,” she was quick to say. “You knew me and weren’tfamiliar with the other gods of Lotho. Your decisionto Ascend me made sense.”

“That wasn’t the only reason. I trust you, and Hollandclearly loves you. That tells me you’re…well, a good person.”

“Holland does have good taste, if I do say so myself.”

I smiled at that. “I hope you are truly okay with this. Itputs you in danger.”

“I have been in danger in one way or another for centuries,Sera,” she said. “But now I can do something about it instead of Holland oranother. I couldn’t before.”

That made me feel better about cornering her into this role.“Will you be staying longer? There’s something I need to do really quick.”

“Yes. I’ll be around.”

“Okay.” I started to turn.

“Sera?” Penellaphe clasped herhands. “Holland mourns with you.”

My breath caught, and I couldn’t speak through the suddenburn in my throat.

Penellaphe’s smile was sad. “Seeyou in a bit.”

I watched her turn and walk back to the throne room, thenclosed my eyes. It’ll get better, I told myself. I’ll get better.Opening my eyes, I began my search for Aios.

Luckily, I was able to find her in the kitchens, speakingwith Valrie. They were talking about bringing inadditional cooks—something Rhain had discussed with me. Gods, that felt likeeons ago—but I suspected she also wanted to be close to the throne room.

“How did the meeting go?” she asked as I led her down thehall.

“As well as can be expected. Phanosis a no but claims he will not support Kolis either,” I told her. “Maia is onboard.”

“Wow,” she murmured.

I glanced over at her. “Surprised?”

“A little.” Her brows pinched. “But I haven’t spent muchtime with her in a very long time.” She looked at me closely when I all butpulled her into the library. “Is everything okay?”

I closed the doors behind me and then faced her. Smiling, Idid my best to act normal. “Yes.”

“Are you sure?” She moved deeper into the cavernous space,her pale lavender gown swishing at her ankles. It didn’t matter how many wallsconces were turned on, the light only ever cast a dull glow over the rows androws of books and little else. But Aios was like afiery torch in the dimness. “Besides the fact that I wouldn’t expect you to beafter…what happened, your smile says otherwise.”

“What’s wrong with my smile?”

“Nothing,” she was quick to say. “It’s just a bit large.” Apause. “Unsettlingly so. Just like Bele’s when she’s faking it.”

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