Page 313 of Born of Blood and Ash

“I want you to promise you’ll stop me,” I said, and hisfeatures took on a blade-sharp edge. “I know me. I…I will lose controlagain, especially when it comes to Kolis.” I drew in a shallow breath. “When hecame to Lotho, he…he killed almost all the draken there. He didn’t even seem to care if they remainedloyal to Embris—to him—or not. Then he laughed, and—”I swallowed the lingering taste of horror. “He sang, and gods andgodlings leapt to their deaths, Ash. Dozens of them. Maybe more. Thierran is the last oneirounow.” The hardest words came next, the reason it would erase every goodintention I had. I rose, needing space to say what I had to. “He…he killed Ezraand Marisol. He snapped my mother’s neck with his hands.”

Ash tipped his head back, his jaw tensing.

“There’s more,” I said, my voice trembling as I spoke, evenfurther proof of why I couldn’t be trusted to quell my rage. “He doesn’t justwant Sotoria’s soul. He wants us to suffer like hehas, and in the most messed-up way that I truly do not need to go into detailswith.”

Ash didn’t blink. He didn’t breathe. But his eyes turnedinto pure silver orbs.

“I cannot promise I will not lose control again because ofthat. I wish I were different, but I’m not,” I told him. “I need you tointervene if I get to that point.”

His entire body jerked back with a swift inhale. “Sera—”

“I know that what I’m asking is horrible. I know.And I hate that I’m asking you this. That I’m putting you in this situation.”Tears blurred his features. I turned and sat on the edge of the bed. “But youcannot allow me to seek vengeance because I will not be able to live with doingsomething like that again.”

He twisted toward me. “I will help you ensure it doesn’t getto that point.”

“I hope you do. But if you can’t?”

“I will,” he growled, pushing to his feet. Hestepped back and thrust a hand through his hair.

I squeezed my eyes shut. “But if you can’t, Ash, I need youto stop me by…by any means necessary.”

He swore, and an icy wind whipped through the bedchamber,tossing my hair across my face. “Do you realize what you’re asking of me?”

“I do.”

“I would have to put you in the ground, Sera. Into stasis. Iwould have to—” Eyes closing, his fisted hand went to his heart. “I would haveto hurt you.”

I could see that this was hurting him. “I’m sorry.I know what it would do to you, and I hate that. I hate that I’m even askingthis. But whatever pain you would cause would be momentary. The pain I wouldcause if I lost control again would end me, Ash. It would. I wouldn’t be ableto come back from it. Please,” I whispered. “Please, promise me.”

He was kneeling before me in a heartbeat, the tips of hisfingers chasing away the tears. Hands trembling, he rested his forehead againstmine and shuddered.

Neither of us spoke for several long moments. When he did,pain coated each word, but so did love. Not the blind, foolish sort, but reallove. The hard kind. “I promise,” he rasped, his voice thickening withbarely checked agony. “I swear I will stop you—” His voice cracked, and I feltthe dampness of his tears mixing with mine. “I will stop you from seekingvengeance.”

The air shifted and charged, responding to the oath made bya Primal. I felt it in my bones—the promise becoming an unbreakable vow thatwould remain until we entered Arcadia.

CHAPTERFORTY-SEVEN

“Did you eat enough?” Ash asked, stridinginto the antechamber and pulling a white linen shirt over his head.

“Yes.” This morning, he’d asked if I’d slept enough. Theanswer was the same, even though I could count on one hand how many hours ofsleep I’d actually gotten. But I’d slept deeply, apparently having cried myselfinto exhaustion.

Ash eyed the array of dishes he’d arranged for me like hehad when I said I’d gotten enough sleep. I’d eaten something from every plateand bowl. He looked worried when he stepped onto the raised platform. “Yousure?”

“I ate two helpings of the sausage.” I patted my belly. “I’mstuffed.”

One side of his lips curled up, and he stopped at my side.He bent, kissed my cheek, and then stepped back. His gaze roamed over my facebefore fixing on my throat. Eather pierced his eyes as he opened his mouth.

“I know what you’re going to say,” I jumped in. “It’s thesame thing you said this morning.”

He sat in the chair to my right. “That hasn’t changed, liessa. Those bruises should’ve healed by now. Iwant Kye to look you over.”

“I don’t know why the bruises haven’t completely faded, butI feel fine, Ash.” I took a drink of the citrus juice. “I promise.”

Ash didn’t say anything, just picked up the last strip ofbacon he hadn’t eaten before he’d left to change.

“And we have too much to do today to waste time summoning aHealer,” I added.

He glanced over at me. “Making sure you’re healthy willnever be a waste of time, Sera.”

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