Page 277 of Born of Blood and Ash

Rhain’s head swung back to mine.

“And I’m sorry you had to do that,” I said, my hearttwisting until my chest hurt.

His mouth dropped open. “You cannot be angry with him.”

“Oh, my gods.” I stiffened. “I’m not angry with him. Or you.I’m…I’m angry with myself.”

Rhain snapped his mouth shut.

“This is…” I rose, thrusting a hand through my hair. “I’veoffered to feed him, but he…” I dropped my hand to my stomach. “I locked up.And he…he knows why. That is my fault. I am his wife. It should—” My voicecracked. “It should be me feeding him. Taking care of him and providing for himas he does for me.”

“No.” Rhain scooted forward. “This is not your fault. It’sKolis’s.”

“Maybe in the beginning.” I swallowed, looking at the door.I shook my head. “But…”

“Listen to me.” Rhain rose and stepped in front of me.“Whatever hang-ups you have with that? Not your fault.”

“I—”

“Shut up and listen to me.”

I snapped my mouth closed, my eyes widening.

“And I mean that with all due respect,” he tacked on, cheeksflushing pink. “Do you know how Kolis made Nyktosfeed until he killed?”

Just hearing that sent a wild whip of anger through me.“Yes.”

“And do you know that, afterward, Nyktoswould refuse to feed? For months. He almost made it half a year before he gotso sick, so weak, that he was maybe one breath away from stasis. It got so bad,especially after Veses started paying him visits thatwe feared he would slip into stasis, and we wouldn’t be able to wake him. Orthat he would be driven mad by bloodlust.”

The air left my body. I knew it had gotten bad, but not thatbad.

Rhain’s eyes were an intense gold. “And I’m sure youremember how close he came to the latter the night the gods attacked you in thethrone room.”

I nodded.

“He only started feeding normally again after you came intohis life, and he had a hard time even then, which I’m sure you also know.”

I did.

“But if he has to feed from anyone else? Like while you werein stasis? He struggles to make himself do it. His hang-up when it came tofeeding was due to what Kolis did to him—forced him to do,” he said. “Do youthink that is his fault?”

“No,” I exclaimed. “Gods, no.”

His brows rose. “Then why the fuck do you think this is yourfault?”

“I…” I closed my mouth. “Gods.”

“What?”

“You’re right.” I sighed and plopped back down on thesettee.

He frowned. “You don’t need to sound so disappointed.”

I laughed hoarsely. “I’m not. It’s just…when it’s my fault,I can fix it, you know? I have control over it. At least, that is what I tellmyself.”

Rhain studied me for a few seconds and then returned to thesettee across from me. “I’ve never seen Nyktos behavelike he does around you.” A faint smile appeared. “He still doesn’t like to betouched by others. Nektas once said he was like thateven as a child, but he is different with you. He always was. And it is morethan that. Seeing him openly affectionate with anyone? I didn’t think I’d eversee that, and I know I wasn’t the only one.”

I thought about all the times Rhain had looked stunned byAsh’s displays of affection. His reactions always stood out to me.

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