Page 261 of Born of Blood and Ash

“You’re acting as if it is!” The wall sconces flickered asessence rose, but I wasn’t sure if he or I did it.

“I don’t mean to,” he said, his voice softer. Calmer. “I’msorry if I did.”

Gods, my heart hurt as if his apology had been a daggerplunged straight into it. “You have nothing to apologize for.” I moved awayfrom the table and bent to pick up my robe. Once it was in my hands, I had noidea what to do with it, so I simply held it. “I’m just tired, Ash. That isall.”

There was a stretch of silence and then he said, “Do youremember the cavern I took you to so you could clean up?”

His question caught me off guard enough that I turned tohim. He’d let go of the arm of the couch. “Yes.”

His skin had stopped thinning. “I told you then that I knowit’s still you.”

I froze.

“You didn’t need to remind me that it was still you,” hesaid, his body still on the edge of the couch. “I know it’s still you, nomatter what has happened.”

Pressure descended onto my chest, and all I could hear for amoment was the pounding of my heart. “Nothing happened, though.”

His eyes slammed shut as he twisted his head to the side.

“I told you that before.” My grip tightened on the robe.“Kolis didn’t—”

“And I told you before that I know better.” Hishead whipped to the front, and his flesh thinned once more. Shadows beganblossoming on his chest, spinning at a rapid, dizzying speed. “I felt youranger. Every time I was conscious, I felt your pain. I felt your—” He inhaledsharply. “I felt your desperation.”

The floor felt like it was moving beneath my feet. I hadn’tforgotten any of that. I’d just refused to allow myself to think about how hehad clawed at his flesh to get to me. That he knew, even though I pretended hedidn’t.

“He took from you,” Ash seethed, and those four words felllike frozen rain against my skin. A sheen of white frost appeared at thecorners of the walls. “He took your blood.”

“I told you I stopped him.”

“You stopped him that time.” His head twistedagain, the tendons in his neck standing out. “Please do not lie to me, Sera.You don’t need to.”

I shook.

“Don’t you understand that?” His gaze swung back to mine.Eather crackled from his irises. “I know.”

I jerked. “Know what?”

Frost spread over the wall, crackling. “I know how he is. Iknow exactly what he is capable of. And I know what he did to others he put inthose cages.”

I stiffened as my mind flashed from the things in the chestto how Kolis’s throne was set so he had a perfect view of the bed. I thoughtabout the chains. The chair by the bathing tub. How he’d displayed me.How he’d offered me to Kyn. How he’d found release as he held me tohim, feeding from me. The stitches of the robe loosened beneath my fingers as Itook another step back. Gods, I could feel the…the dampness even now.

Ash’s body seemed to vibrate as he took a deep breath. Thefrost retreated a few inches. “I know you tried to convince him you were Sotoria. I know…” His lids lowered, and the skin around hiseyes creased. “I know you did everything you could to get him to free me.”

When he opened his eyes, they glimmered. “I know.”

But he couldn’t know everything. There was no way unlessKolis had said something…

My skin burned. I knew Kyn had told him what Kolis hadoffered, but Ash wasn’t talking about that. “What did he say?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“What did he say!?” I shouted, the robe slippingfrom my fingers. Panic blossomed in the pit of my stomach. “Yes, I pretended tobe Sotoria. I told him I would consider things withhim if he released you. He agreed but found every reason not to.” A jaggedlaugh crawled its way out of me, and then the words came out in a rush. “Itdidn’t matter how much I pretended I didn’t want to rip his throat out wheneverI had to listen to him. He always found a reason not to let you go. You weretoo angry. I was too mouthy—too stubborn.” My hands opened and closed. “So,yes, I pretended to enjoy his presence and often failed at doing so becausehe—” I stopped. Kolis’s anger at me asking about Ash’s release after Ioneconfirmed that I was Sotoria resurfaced and strucklike a pit viper. Just as his fangs had. I lifted my hands and then loweredthem. “I told him you didn’t love me.”

Ash had gone quiet. His eyes never left me, but I didn’treally see him. I didn’t see anything. “He knew I cared for you. I…I think heknew it was more than that, even though I played it off.” The breath I tookfelt insufficient. “I told him you had your kardiaremoved. If I hadn’t told him that, he…”

“I know what he would’ve done,” Ash said, his voice soundingas pained as I felt on the inside. “He would’ve put me into stasis, and I maystill be in it. But you protected me. You saved me.”

I had.

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