Page 23 of Born of Blood and Ash

Kolis must be infuriated.

At the thought of the Primal of Death, red-hot anger poundedthrough me, mingling with the eather. Energy surged,crackling and hissing through my veins like lightning. The intensity of thepower caused my breath to catch. I’d gotten used to the ebb and flow of eather, and even its intense force the handful of times I’dtapped into the essence of the Primals, but what Ifelt pulsing through me now was something else entirely. It was a storm ofnear-absolute power, hot and endless like the very sun itself. The air in thebathing chamber charged, causing my skin to hum. The rush of energy feltdestructive, capable of creating true chaos if unleashed.

But I didn’t think the Primal of Life was meant to be abeing of chaos and destruction, so I drew in a deep breath and held it. Iwilled my heart to slow because far more dangerous, stifling emotions simmeredbeneath the fury.

“I’m not there,” I reminded myself, gripping the edge of thevanity. “I’m not Kolis’s willing prisoner any longer. I will never be thatagain.”

And dwelling on my time with Kolis—my time in Dalos—served no purpose when I needed to focus onfiguring out what to do about the Primal of Death. He couldn’t be killed. Notwithout a god of his original Court to Ascend. And even though Ash carriedembers of death, he didn’t count.

In the quiet, I searched the library of knowledge erected inmy mind during stasis. There was so much information there—almost too much.Like I now fully understood why Ash and the other Primalsand gods often fought with weapons instead of the Primal essence. Using thatraw energy against one another impacted the realms, usually manifesting assevere weather events. The impact wasn’t always immediate, but whenever it wasused against another, it would build and build until the realms could no longercontain the energy. The effect and consequences wouldn’t be as severe as Primals using it against one another, but there was still aprice to be paid in blood.

And that was good to know. Obviously. But randomly realizingsuch things made it harder for me to focus on single items.

However, even if I could focus better, it wouldn’t matter.Nothing came to me. No weird feelings. No answers for how to stop Kolis withoutdestroying the realms. Sudden knowledge didn’t simply pop into my head. Therewas just a void of humming whiteness and questions that only led to moreconfusion.

There had to be more to Eythos’splan. He wouldn’t have risked the destruction of the realms by creating—albeitfailing at—the only weapon that could kill Kolis without knowing somethingcould be done about the embers of death.

But even if we figured out a way, it required using Sotoria. Again. And, gods, she deserved to be at peace. Notforced to be reborn yet again, only to be used as a tool with no autonomy. I’dlived that life, and I didn’t know if I could be a part of allowing another todo so. Especially someone who had already been forced to live far too manylives.

Kolis and what to do with Sotoriaweren’t the only things I needed to figure out, though. I also needed to learnhow to, well, act like an actual Queen and be the true Primal of Life.

To find the faith Ash had in me, within myself. To bebetter. Less monstrous and…knee-jerky.

And not do what I desperately wanted to do, whichwas find Ash and demand that we seize Dalos and laywaste to any Primal who stood against us—especially Kyn for what he had done toEctor, Orphine, Aios, andso many others.

Eather thrummed beneath the surface as I closed my eyes. Icould do it, too. I could Ascend gods in their Courts to replace those whofell, ensuring minimal impact to the mortal realm. I could take control,releasing the Chosen and any draken Kolis had forcedinto servitude.

But that was the part of me I hadn’t slain talking.

Doing something like that would start a bloody war. Innocentgods and draken in the Shadowlands and throughout Iliseeum would die. It would spill over into the mortalrealm, costing countless lives.

And as the true Primal of Life, none of that shouldfeel as right as it did.

But as Ash had said, there was no changing this. And he wasright. I didn’t need intuition to tell me there would be no abdicating thethrone. There would be no period of adjustment. This was my present and future,and there wasn’t time to pretend that my entire existence and that of therealms hadn’t changed—or freak out in a spiral of self-doubt.

So, I needed to be…well, less like the version of me whocould lie as easily as I could kill. I couldn’t continue being thetemperamental, anxiety-ridden mess I was. Sure, Ash accepted all of that, eventhe part where I had attempted to kill him. He accepted me. But thiswas bigger than me—than us. I had the gods to think of now. The draken. Mortals. I needed to be better.

And standing in a bathing chamber with my eyes closed whilegiving myself the worst pep talk in history wasn’t where I should have started.

Taking another deep breath, I opened my eyes. The firstthing I saw was the golden swirl of the marriage imprint on the top of my righthand. The sight helped to calm me. I lifted my gaze to the mirror.

Oh, dear.

My hair was a nearly silver, pale-blond nightmare. Wet,tangled curls and waves fell past my shoulders, brushing the curve of my waist.I was so not looking forward to attempting to brush out the knots. My gazeshifted to my face. I looked the same as I had before: freckled, stubborn jaw,slightly pointy chin, arched brows. But the pallor and bruises I had while in Dalos were gone.

I lifted my upper lip to reveal two canines barely longerthan before. Tentatively, I prodded at one of them with my tongue andimmediately winced as I nicked it. They were definitely sharper, even if theywere, at least according to Ash, small.

Nothing else had changed about me except for the fangs—

“Holy gods,” I whispered, my lips parting in surprise.

The fangs weren’t the only thing that was differentabout me. My eyes had changed, too. I leaned in closer to the mirror as if thatwould somehow change what I saw.

It didn’t.

I looked past the glow behind my pupils. The aura had beenthere leading up to my Ascension, so that wasn’t unexpected.

My eyes were still green—well, sort of. Streaks of silvernow splintered the irises, giving them an almost shattered effect.

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