Page 212 of Born of Blood and Ash

A wide, likely half-crazed-looking smile spread across mylips, and I didn’t care about how I looked because this was us. Who we had beenwhen we were strangers, then friends, enemies, and now…lovers. This was simplywho we were when we were together. And if he was reading my emotions now, hewould taste nothing but the sweetest, chocolate-dipped strawberries.

Nothing but love.

Veses’ warning followed meas the day progressed. It was hard not to think about it, even as Ash and Ispent the better part of the day in the courtyard training alongside theguards.

The tension in my muscles that accompanied each swing of thesword and even the impact of the blades meeting felt so damn good. I broke asweat but didn’t tire as I had before I Ascended. Not even after switching offwith Bele, who managed to knock me on my ass. It had taken hours for me to tapout. Never in my life had I trained for that long.

Holland, wherever he was, would be proud.

We’d spent the evening with the Shadowlands gods, discussingbattle strategy in case things went south and a full-scale war broke out. Wherewe would attack first, if we would. The best way to lay siege to Dalos. It wasn’t an easy conversation to have withoutknowing who our allies or enemies were.

I hated the fucking eirini.

With each passing day, it was getting harder not to thinklike Bele. To call for a meeting and reject Kolis’s offer.

But that wouldn’t be wise. It’d be reckless and a slew ofother bad things. As much as I loathed the eirini,it gave us time to prepare the tomb beneath Oak Ambler.

It gave us time.

Gods, I should be asleep instead of staring at the ceiling.

At least I wasn’t staring at Ash like a creeper.

My mind wouldn’t shut down, alternating between,well…everything. Would Kolis wait out the eirini?How would he respond once I summoned the Primals?What about the prophecy? Then there was the confusing storm of conflictingemotions that had reared its head once more this evening when I fed from Ash,and he’d declined my offer. I’d felt relief and disappointment at the sametime. Then shame. That still scalded each breath I took.

And if I wasn’t thinking about all of that, it was what Attes had confirmed about Sotoriawhen I saw him last and how desperate she must have been to ask such a thing ofEythos.

And how hard it had to be for Eythosto carry out her request.

It also made me think about how close I had come to the verysame thing but for vastly different reasons—and by my own hand. Had Sotoria’s soul been aware of what I had done when I tooktoo much of the sleeping aid? I didn’t think so, and I was grateful for that.

I didn’t want to dwell on Sotoria.It made me so godsdamn sad. And thinking about Sotoria—what was expected of her—made me angry. Obviously,we needed her to be reborn if we hoped to kill Kolis. None of the Primals were powerful enough to do it—at least not now.Maybe one day. But even if we succeeded in entombing Kolis, there would alwaysbe a risk to Sotoria.

I eventually shifted my thoughts to the reason behindspending the day training with mortal weapons. Not only was it important tokeep those reflexes honed, but fighting with the essence against another Primalcould spell disaster for the mortal realm. Still, there would be times whenusing the Primal essence was inevitable—when violence fueled the will behindit.

But there had been an impact when I’d used the eather against Kolis, and I worried about how that hadplayed out in the mortal realm. What would the repercussions of anything thathappened from here on out be?

I worried about my family.

And something else also occupied the back of my mind as Iwatched the silvery glow of starlight ripple across the ceiling. It was afeeling that I was supposed to remember something.

Something really important.

I searched my thoughts. They raced and came together likerun-on sentences. I ended up back on the prophecy. Frustrated, I blew out anaggravated breath.

“Liessa,” Ash murmured,his sleep-roughened voice startling me. “Why are you not asleep?”

My lips pursed. “I am sleeping.”

His chuckle was low and throaty. “Want to try answering thatagain?”

I crossed my arms over the soft, knit blanket. “I’m justthinking.”

“About?”

“Everything.”

“I’m not sure it’s possible to think about everything.”

---