“Sera—”
“I know you must sense it, that part of my soul. There’s noway you haven’t. And you don’t have to lie. I don’t want you to because, gods,the fact that you must have always sensed it yet still accepted me makes melove you even more.” My gaze searched his. “I’m not like you. You carry thosemarks. Bear them. I don’t. Not really.”
“That’s not true. It’s not,” he insisted, lowering his chinso we were at eye level when I opened my mouth to protest. “Kolis is someonewho doesn’t feel empathy or regret. Kyn doesn’t. Vesesis another. Are you like them?”
I was nothing like Kyn or Kolis, but Veses…What had she said after she told me she’d leveled half her Court when Kolisbrought Sotoria back?
Our violent reactions regarding the ones we love issomething we have in common.
We did have that in common.
But that was the only thing.
“No,” I said. “I’m not like them.”
“Thank fuck you said that,” he replied. “You just carrythose marks differently, Sera. The fact that we’re even having thisconversation proves that.” His gaze found mine. “All of us, the good and thebad, are a little monstrous. I am no better than you.”
A damn knot lodged in my throat, just as it had when he saidthis before we left to meet with Kolis to gain his approval for the coronation.
“But those parts?” Eather streaked across his irises. “Theydon’t define you. They are not the sum of who you are. They never were.”
“Do you believe that about yourself?” I asked, knowing hehad far more good in him than I did in me. But he didn’t see it that way. “Andthe monstrous things you’ve done?”
“I’m starting to,” he admitted.
Surprise flickered through me. “What changed that?”
“You.”
I rocked back. “Me?”
“Yes, you.” His smile returned. “Because someone like youcouldn’t love me if I were the sum of the worst things I’ve done.”
My breath caught as my emotions swelled. His featuresblurred. “I think I’m going to cry.”
“That is not the response I was going for.” Concern filledhis tone as he rose slightly.
“It’s because you’re being sweet!” I exclaimed, blinkingtears from my eyes. “And I don’t know why I’m so damn emotional. I was neverthis way until I met you. It’s annoying.”
Ash chuckled, relief easing into his features. “It’s cute.”
“I completely disagree with that statement,” I muttered,pulling myself together. “But back to the riders. They said I didn’t slay themonster, but I did wound it.”
A moment passed. “Did they find you worthy?”
“They did. So, I can now call on them if I want to end therealms.” I rolled my eyes. “Or something.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” he remarked, earning a sidelongglance from me. “But I’m not surprised. Because what I’ve sensed in you is notcruelty, Sera. That is not what feeds this monster you speak of.”
I almost asked him what did but stopped myself. What Ashsensed in me now was totally influenced by how he felt about me, and I didn’tneed my intuition to tell me that.
The truth was, Ash was right about some of the stuff hesaid. I wasn’t evil. Kolis, Kyn, and even Veses were.None of them had started out that way, but they’d become evil. Me? I felt likeI was somewhere in the middle of good and evil, teetering on a fine line. And Icouldn’t help but think that the true Primal of Life should be all good. Or, atthe very least, mostly good.
Like Ash.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“I…I was just thinking about you,” I said after a moment.“Like how your father wanted you to be the true Primal of Life. Everyone herewanted that.”