Page 138 of Born of Blood and Ash

I stopped and met his stare. Or glare. The look wassomewhere in between. “But I thought about Sotoria’ssoul and how I couldn’t do that to her, even for a chance to ensure our safety.And I would do anything for that. Anything but that.” My voicethickened. “And I realized that if one life is that important, then how can thelives of gods and mortals not be more important than our vengeance? Our anger?It can’t be that way.”

Silence greeted me, and what felt like my entire insidesstarted to squirm. “Say something,” I ordered Ash.

He leaned forward, propping his elbow on his knee. “Youreally, truly believe that Kolis doesn’t want war?”

Obviously, I did. Well, I mostly did. Like, I wasninety-nine percent sure, but uncertainty rose. I wasn’t sure how to answer.“I…I know you think my opinion is influenced by how he acted when he believed Iwas Sotoria, but even before that—the very first timeI spoke to him in Dalos—he didn’t speak of war.”

“Instead, he spoke of killing all the Primalswho stood against him,” Ash countered. “How is that not war?”

“I see what you’re saying, but I think…I think he wasrunning his mouth. Wanting to scare me.” My fingers tightened around my hair.“And I’m not saying his plan to kill those who stood against him changed, noteven when he believed I was Sotoria. Later, he spokeof giving them the choice to stand with him instead of flat-out killing them.And yeah, that’s not much of an option, but he also knew that most Primals would not go against him if he rose as the Primalof Blood and Bone.”

Ash’s expression was unreadable. “Kolis says a lot, Sera.”

“I know. He is aware of his limitations, and I think heknows how tenuous his hold would become if another challenged his power. Imean, he absolutely hated when I used the eatheraround him, and I don’t think it was because he was afraid of me or anythinglike that.”

Nektas cocked his head. “What doyou mean?”

“He doesn’t like to be challenged.”

Ash’s jaw flexed. “That, I know.”

“But it’s about more than just his ego,” I told him. “Ithink it was because he didn’t want anyone else to see that I couldchallenge him.”

Ash’s head tilted. “And how does that have nothing to dowith his ego?”

“I…I don’t know. I’m not explaining it clearly enough.”Frustrated, I shoved a curl away from my face, searching for how to convey whatI felt when it came to dealing with Kolis. “Look, I don’t think Kolis isreasonable when it comes to anything that doesn’t line up with what he wants,but he knows what war would do to the realms. He doesn’t want to rule over apile of bones. He will seek to prevent that, which in his own shitty way, he’strying to do. If there’s a sliver of a chance that he will abdicate the throne,then how can we not pursue that?”

Ash didn’t respond for several long moments. “We spoke aboutentombing him. If we were to do that now, it would mean we’ve reneged.”

My stomach churned. “I know.” A muscle ticked in Ash’s jaw,and my chest tightened. Did I make the right choices?

“There is no right or wrong choice,” Nektassaid, and I turned to him. Did I speak out loud? He was focused on Ash. “Peaceshould always be attempted first.”

Ash sat back. “Even if that peace comes with a threatlooming over our heads? Do we continue to live like that?”

“That’s what your father would’ve chosen,” Nektas said quietly.

“And look what that got him,” Ash shot back.

“You think he didn’t know the risks of refusing his brother?He did. But he had to think of everyone else. That is what a King does.” Nektas held Ash’s stare. “That has never been what Kolishas done, but that is what Sera is trying to do.”

“I don’t think Sera made the wrong choice,” Ash insisted ashe shifted toward me. “I don’t.”

Then what did he think? Because it sure didn’t seemlike he agreed with what I did.

“Okay.” Rhain held up a hand. “What was his response?”

“He didn’t accept or turn the deal down,” I said. “Neitherdid I. I think Aydun likely sensed we were both going to say no, so he told uswe had time to think it over. We have about a month.”

“We should continue as we’ve planned then,” Rhain said,setting his glass on the tray behind him. “Summon the Primals.Gain support. Nothing has changed.”

Folding my arms over my waist, I nodded absently. Rhain wasright. Nothing had changed.

But like before, I couldn’t shake the feeling thateverything had.

After Rhain and Nektasleft, Ash and I sat in silence for a little while.

“Rhain is right. We should continue as planned,” Ash said ashe rose from the settee.

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