Page 116 of Born of Blood and Ash

There was a pause, and then the Ancient let out a deep sigh.“The only reason I’m following you is because it will only delay things furtherif I don’t.”

“Yeah,” Nektas drawled. “That andthe fact that you know I will rip your arms off and beat you over the head withthem.”

My eyes popped open.

Aydun chuckled, and it sounded different. Warm. Real enoughthat I lifted my head from Ash’s chest. “You know, I’ve seen that happenbefore. Laugh every time I think about it.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Nektasmuttered, the door swinging shut and muting whatever else he was saying.

“I don’t even know what to say about that,” I whispered,shaking my head. “I wonder how Nektas got to be on afirst-name basis with him?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care.” Ash’s fingers sank into myhair, and his chest rose sharply against mine. His features were stark—toostark. “I don’t like this, Sera.”

“Neither do I.” I swallowed, but my throat felt dry. “But itis what it is.” I tried to will my heart and mind tocalm down so I could focus. “We know what Kolis will say. He’ll demand ourloyalty and, I imagine, command that I relinquish any claim to the throne. Isthat even possible?”

Ash didn’t answer as he stared at me, but the vadentia told me it was. Kind of. Instead of thetrue Primal of Life ruling, it would be the true Primal of Death. A first.

But a Queen of the Gods was also a first.

My fingers curled into the back of Ash’s shirt as I exhaledslowly. “And I…I guess I’ll tell Kolis to go fuck himself but in a moreappropriate way. Then I’ll—”

“I don’t think I can allow this to happen,” Ash said,speaking so quietly I wasn’t even sure I’d heard him right.

But I had heard him.

I ignored it. “While I’m gone, you should go to Attes and tell him about Kolis. When I return, we willsummon the Primals. Our plans haven’t changed.”

“I can’t,” he repeated. A faint glow of eatherlit up the network of veins in his cheeks. “I can’t let you go through withthis.” His eyes were full of so much essence the pupils were no longer visibleas his gaze drifted to the doors behind me. The light in his veins ratchetedup. “I won’t.”

My heart stopped. “You have to.”

His diamond-bright gaze swung back to me. “The only thing Ihave to do is keep you safe.”

Letting go of his shirt, I grasped his cheeks. “If that’strue, then you must let this happen.”

Shadows seeped out from behind his shoulders. “That is theexact opposite of what I need to do.”

“How will you keep me safe if you’re dead?” I demanded,feeling my stomach pitch with each word. “Because that’s what will happen ifyou try to stop this.”

The line of his cheekbones sharpened. “You doubt the extentof what I’m willing to do for you.”

“That’s the thing, Ash. I don’t doubt what you’re willing todo.” Panic seeded itself in the pit of my belly. “Listen to me. Please. We justgot a second chance. One we had to fight for and will have to keepfighting for. And I am terrified of losing that—losing you.”

His eyes went wide. “That is what you’re terrified of?” Moreof his flesh disappeared. “You will never lose me, Sera. Never.”

“Then prove it,” I whispered. “Please.”

He inhaled sharply, his nostrils flaring. His eyes closed asanother deep, quaking tremor ran through him. “Kolis… I know he scares you.”

My breath caught as I dropped my hands to his chest. “Hedoesn’t.”

“Do not lie to me, Sera. Not now. Not about him.” Thetendrils of shadows arced. “I know what I felt from you when he had you. Ichoke on the taste of what you felt even now.”

A part of me shriveled up right then because I didn’t wantto remember that he’d felt what I had. The fear. The panic. The desperation.And—

I stopped myself right before my lungs seized.

Ash’s neck twisted like the Ancient’s head had moved.Inhumanly. Otherworldly. The similarities between them and the Primals were uncanny. “This,” Ash ground out, “iswhat I was talking about just minutes ago. You don’t always have to be strong,Sera. And you never need to pretend with me.”

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