Page 57 of Big Witch Energy

“I don’t think that makes me feel better,” Ben mused.

“Anyway, I figured anything trying that hard to trick me was worth digging up. I couldn’t pull it through the wall like the one you talked about, so I grabbed a shovel and dug it out.”

A sudden darkness above their heads pulled Ben’s eyes toward the ceiling. That creepy oily figure was back, and it seemed…pissed? It was pacing around the room, moving erratically between Riley and Josh—as if it couldn’t decide which one it wanted to hurt. It slithered along until it was hovering right over them. Ben stood with his arms out, like an idiot, as if he could shield them all from whatever the hell that was. Plover tried to grab at it, but it just darted out of the way. It stretched, viscous and angry, toward the lock on the desk. Riley seemed to realize how close it had gotten to her desk and snatched the lock from the surface. She hissed as her hand made contact with the metal and tucked it against her chest.

The ceiling ghost didn’t have a face or form, just undulating negativity. It stretched toward Ben, and a mouthlike hole opened up in its surface and let loose the scream of a hundred men condemned. Ben fell back into his chair. Josh leaped up from his chair and tossed a dish of potpourri salt at it, and it shrunk back into the ceiling, into nothing.

“Freaking ceiling ghost,” Riley huffed, dropping the lock back on the desk. “Dammit, those things are cold.”

“Well, that thing didn’t seem happy,” Ben said.

“Maybe it’s mad that I found a lock?” Josh wondered. “It didn’t sound like the basement voice, if that makes you feel any better. Plover, can you communicate with that thing?”

“It doesn’t seem to have a true voice. It doesn’t feel quite right,” Plover said. “I don’t think it’s the same sort of ghost as the rest of the residents of the house.”

Josh asked, “What if it’s a poltergeist?”

Riley turned to him. “What?”

Josh repeated, “Poltergeist. It’s German for ‘noisy ghost’ or something.”

“I know what it means…because Plover told me when I first got here,” Riley admitted.

“OK, so poltergeists are usually associated with a teenager in the house going through the usual hormonal changes of puberty and the trauma of losing their childhood innocence,” Josh said. “The theory is that changes in the kid’s brain triggers psychic stuff that was already there. You combine that with the pissed-off will of your average teenager and next thing you know—pickle jars are exploding and shampoo bottles are flying all over the place.”

“Really?” Ben frowned. “Those movies from the ’80s made it seem like it was all evil preachers and pool skeletons.”

“Total misunderstanding of the concept,” Josh said. “There’s no spirit involved in the haunting, but these things can develop personalities. Some of them even communicate with the family or whatever paranormal investigators they hire.”

“Where did you learn all of this?” Ben asked.

“You guys really underestimate the educational value of screen time,” Josh told him. “Anyway, the haunting usually goes away when the kid gets older. But sometimes, the psychic stuff is just so strong that it sticks around, even if the kid moves away. You said these Welling assholes—”

Before Ben could even correct him, Plover intoned, “Language, young sir.”

And Josh actually looked ashamed! His cheeks had gone red and everything! Ben gaped at Plover. How was a ghost better at parenting his children than Ben was?

“Sorry, Mr. Plover,” Josh said. “You said the Wellings were strong magic people themselves, that they were planning all this stuff behind your family’s back. That’s an awful lot of will concentrated in one place. And it just sort of got stuck here for hundreds of years. What if the creepy ceiling thing is like a poltergeist, but it’s like an echo of what the Wellings wanted?”

Riley considered it. “That would explain why the ceiling creep doesn’t follow the usual rules, except for the salt. Salt is sort of an elemental thing. Can’t fight that.”

“Mina is going to be so mad that she missed all this,” Josh sighed. “Can we just not tell her?”

“That’s not how we do things,” Riley told him. “Hiding things only creates confusion and complications and sometimes, police involvement.”

“OK.” Josh considered that for a moment. “I think I like that better, anyway.”

“So go home and get some rest and I will stash this with the rest of the locks,” Riley said, giving Josh a hug. She winked at Ben. “And plenty of fluids.”

“Does hydration help with magical stuff?” Ben asked.

“Couldn’t hurt,” Riley replied.

Josh and Ben shuffled out of the house after another failed fist bump attempt with Plover.

“Why don’t we go by the Rose, pick up Mina, get some ice cream at Regina’s?” Ben suggested as they turned their feet toward town.

“Sounds good,” Josh said. “But I would just like to point out that you only take us out to ice cream when you have bad news.”

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