Page 27 of Shifters in the Night

“Bael stopped me. He said something about a cycle of mutually assured destruction.” As usual, when it was just the two of them, Will’s southern accent filtered through. He waved towards one of the low-slung Adirondack chairs closest to the water. And just like the old Carmody house, the water surrounding them was sapphire blue and smelled of salt. Jon flopped into the chair and handed Will a chilled bottle.

“Wait, is Sonja inside?” Jon asked. “Did I just ignore her in her own house?”

“Are you kidding? Gran would have smacked us both if I’d let you do that. Sonja’s over at Jillian’s, trying to figure out how the hell they’re going to pull off this Founder’s Day thing in a few weeks. Zed may have been a little ambitious when he announced it.” Will smiled in a wistful way that made Jon’s gut twist in … jealousy? Sympathy? “But that’s when Sonja’s happiest, making administrative miracles happen. She’ll get it done.”

“When are you gonna finally propose to that woman?” Jon asked. “It’s getting a little weird that you’re carrying the ring around in your pocket every day with no proposal.”

“When the time is right. And the plan is right. Sonja is a one-of-kind-person. She deserves a one-of-a-kind proposal,” Will said, pulling the ring box out of his pocket and opening it, to reveal a huge square diamond set between two dark sapphires that looked like the waters off the coast of Scotland. Jon didn’t know jewelry, but it was classy and beautiful and very, very Sonja. “And I’m carrying the ring around because I keep taking it out to look at it. I can’t stop! I keep thinking what if it’s not right? What if she doesn’t like it? Maybe I should get her a different one? If I don’t carry the ring with me, I’ll screw up and leave it out somewhere she’ll find it. Or just on the kitchen counter, because that’s something I would do at this point.”

Jon stared at the ring before Will closed the box and tucked it back into his pants pocket. While Jon knew logically that his brother was getting married, seeing the ring, hearing Will talk about a proposal, made it so real. His brother was moving to a fulfilled adult life and Jon had been sort of stuck in a holding pattern for decades. He was making some progress, but he couldn’t help but feel a little bit left behind.

“What’s it like?” Jon asked.

Will sipped his beer. “What’s what like?”

“Knowing who you want to be with. Knowing what you want. Knowing what your life is going to be.”

“Well, no one knows what their life is going to be,” Will replied. “It could still all fall apart in the next five minutes. We both know that, but it’s worth the risk.”

Jon nodded and stared across the water.

“What’s bringing out all the philosophical questions?” Will asked. “Is it because I’m teasing you so much about leaving your comfort zone? I’ll stop doing it if it bothers you. I just think you want more people in your life than you have right now, whether that’s real friends or just people you see at the grocery store.”

“I don’t have that thing you have, where you can connect with people and make friends,” Jon said suddenly.

Will scoffed. “Sonja’s crazy about you. Bael and Zed have always thought you’re funny and interesting. You’ve just held them at arm’s length since we were kids. I only connect with people because I try!”

“It’s just that there’s a reason I’ve kept to myself,” Jon insisted.

Will made a “bring it on” motion with his hand. “What?”

“You’ll think I’m a dumbass.”

“I don’t think you’re a dumbass,” Will promised.

“The kraken thing. It wasn’t just about getting the wind knocked out of me. It wasn’t just about the embarrassment of the whole town knowing you had your ass handed to you by a giant cephalopod. It’s…” Jon paused and waved a hand at his face.

“What? The scars? People here never cared about that,” Will said.

“They say that, but I can see it in their faces,” Jon sighed. “That minute where they see me and recognize me and then remember that I used to look different. It’s like a camera shutter behind their eyes. They try not to let it show because they’re trying to be nice, but it’s there. And I know it shouldn’t bother me…”

Will laid a hand on Jon’s shoulder. He could feel the warmth of it, a connection with his brother that had been missing from his life for too long, all the way down to his gut. “Did something happen while I was gone?”

“You know it took me a while to leave the house,” Jon said. “But I did try, early on. A few years after the attack, the wounds were pretty much healed. At least, they didn’t hurt anymore, at least. I finally felt comfortable going into town, picking up some supplies for Gran at the farm store. I figured the worst that could happen was I would run into some old-timer that would give me a hard time about being over-confident with sea monsters. But as soon as I got out of the truck, Harlan Diaz pulled up next to me. His little boy hopped out, all that eight-year-old energy, but one look at me stopped him in his tracks. Oscar had been a chubby little toddler the last time I saw him. I used to throw him into the air so he would laugh until he threw up. Drove his mama crazy. He knew me, and I could see the scream building in his chest before I heard a sound. He couldn’t help it. He was just a kid and he didn’t know about being polite or trying to protect my feelings. Poor little guy buried his face in his daddy’s shirt and cried. I just got out of there. I don’t even remember driving back home. Gran never got her begonias.”

Will didn’t speak, merely squeezed Jon’s shoulder.

Jon continued, “it was like that a little bit of me got snuffed out. The part of me that wanted to be out in the world, part of it, was just gone. I never wanted to see that look on someone’s face again. I didn’t want to see people. So, I shut the world out, for a long time, and it was safe. Maybe I dipped my toe back in every once in a while – driving to a parts store or something, but even that was safe because the people there didn’t know me or who I was before. So there was nothing for them to compare me to. And now, it feels like the world is trying to push its way back in, and it’s scary as hell.”

“The world? Or Lia?” Will asked.

“Lia,” Jon admitted.

“The girl who goes out of her way to come see you? As in she wandered into the yard, as if she was drawn here by a deer shifter magnet? That’s scary to you?” Will asked.

“How did you know about that?” Jon exclaimed.

“Sonja,” Will said with a shrug.

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