Page 131 of Buried Too Deep

“Phin,” she whispered, new tears falling down her face. She knew he wouldn’t want her crying for him, but she couldn’t help it. “Sorry. I’m all over the place today. I know you’re here now and you’re better, but I hate the thought of you not having a safe place to sleep. And now I’ve made it all about me. I’m shutting up now.”

He kissed her, just a brushing of lips. “You’re fine, Cora Jane.”

She opened her mouth to protest the middle name but stopped herself. She didn’t mind it coming from him. It was almost an endearment. “So the meds helped?”

“They did. I was able to get some handyman jobs, usually working for a licensed contractor for cash. All under the table, but I was doing well enough to get my own apartment. It was in a seedy part of town, but it was mine and I had a place to come home to after work and just…be.”

“And then?”

“And then one day I was coming home from a job and saw three people on the street outside my place. Scarlett and two men I didn’t know.”

“Stone and his brother.”

“Yes. I was…scared. Humiliated. I didn’t want them to see me there. Suddenly the place that was safe and mine was dirty and run-down and made me ashamed.” He shrugged, his muscles gone rigid once again. “So I did what I always do. I ran.”

“You weren’t ready.”

“I wasn’t. I walked around all night. Snoozed in an alley where some of my old friends hung out. Mostly other vets. We kept each other safe back in the day. Before I could think past the next hour. I thought maybe they’d throw me out because I hadn’t come back after getting my own place, but they welcomed me. Said they were happy that I’d gotten out, that I was getting my life back. Said that it was a process and that some of them got out, only to come back, then they would escape again for a little while.”

“That’s sad.”

“I know. I thought the same thing as I sat there in that alley, back against a wall, trying to get a little sleep.”

“So that’s what you meant when you said you’d slept sitting against a wall before?”

He chuckled. “Yeah, that. Plus all the years in the army. You slept when you could, in any position you could.”

“So you left the alley?”

“At sunup. Figured Scarlett and the two men I’d seen her with would be gone. I came home, went up the stairs, and there was Stone hanging out at my front door. Scared the shit out of me at first. He introduced himself. Said we were family now. Said he’d been where I was and he understood.” Phin sighed. “Said that he wouldn’t tell Scarlett that he’d talked to me. Said that I didn’t have to be perfect to go home, I just had to be ready.”

“Did you leave with him?”

“Not that day. He gave me his cell number. Told me to call any time of the day or night and he’d be there. I kept thinking about what he said. What my buddies in the alley said. I didn’t want to cycle back into that alley. I wanted to go home. To my mom and dad and my sister and my brothers. I just wanted to go home, but I was too scared to do that.”

Those words were said with such desolation that Cora needed to comfort him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on.

His arms closed around her and they simply sat there. Together.

“I’m ready now,” he finally murmured. “Ready for my family, ready to feel again. Because I’ve finally accepted that I’m not perfect and never will be. I’m just me.”

“I like you.”

She felt him smile against her cheek. “I like you, too. I’m not a good bet for you, Cora Jane. But I like you and I’d like to be a good bet for someone like you.”

Her heart stuttered at the raw honesty in his voice. “Just someone like me?” she teased breathlessly. “Or me?”

He tipped her chin up and kissed her, long and hard and full of all the things they both seemed to be wanting. When he released her, his chest was rising and falling rapidly and his eyes were heated.

Yes, they were both wanting.

“You,” he said gruffly, then cleared his throat. “You asked what we’re doing and I gave you a long-assed answer. I want to be a good bet for you. I want you to feel safe. I want you to feel happy. I want you to just…feel. And I want you to feel all that with me.”

“I’d like that. All of that.” She rested her head on his shoulder, content in that moment. She wasn’t thinking about intruders or erasers. Or Minnies or Alices or Patricks. She was taking a break and thinking about herself. And Phin. “Have you considered working with vets like yourself?”

“All the time. And then something happens, I get triggered, my anxiety ramps up, and I spiral. My therapist says I’m too hard on myself.”

“She might have a point,” Cora said dryly.

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