Page 63 of Wicked Serve

“I saw the way you looked at him, Iz.”

I cross my arms over my chest. I’m wearing one of Nik’s shirts—a nondescript maroon T-shirt that I stole from him after I discovered he was hoarding my favorite pair of panties—but Sebastian doesn’t need to know that either. “So what?”

“If it’s really casual, and I’m wrong, great.” He sits across from me, his father’s necklace peeking out from his collar. “But you looked like you really care about him. And I know what it’s like to hold back with someone you have feelings for.”

My heart lurches. “There’s nothing to hold back.”

“Okay,” he says, leaning back in the chair. “Maybe it’s different. But in the beginning, with Mia—”

“It’s not like that.”

“Maybe not,” he says lightly. “But I know you, Izzy. You care about so many things, I see it every day, and I don’t want to see you get wrapped up in a guy who won’t commit to more. I want you to have what you deserve. You’re a romantic person, and—”

“Maybe I just want to screw him,” I snap.

I say it to startle him, but he doesn’t even flinch. It doesn’t make me feel good, either. I’ve kept the realization I had during laser tag locked up tightly, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel its presence. It’s getting harder and harder to hold on to the lie; to deny that I want more with him. Telling him about Chance, hearing him speak Russian to me... it drew out something that I can’t shove down entirely.

“Then that’s great,” he says. “Enjoy it. But the Izzy I know isn’t a casual person.”

“Is this about Cooper?” I stand, the chair scraping against the floor. My head throbs. “Because it’s not his business either.”

“No. And I’m not going to tell him, in case you’re worried about that. But I’m leaving for Geneva after Christmas. I want to make sure my little sister is okay before there’s an ocean between us.”

Even though I want to hurtle my coffee mug at him, I soften. “You sound like you’re going to stay there forever.”

“Maybe,” he says. He sounds serious enough that I freeze. “I mean, I’m going wherever Mia’s going. If she decides that she wants to go to graduate school in Europe after this program, I’m staying there with her. I can cook wherever I am.”

“Oh.” I chew on my lip. “That’s... romantic.”

“Make sure you’re getting what you really want, whatever that is. That’s all I’m trying to say.” He squeezes my arm as he walks past me to put his mug in the sink.

I force myself to breathe.

The closer I get to Nik, the more certain I am that I could fall in love with him.

Maybe I’m halfway there already. He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s achingly charming. Last night, I wanted nothing more in the world than to wear his hockey sweater. But there’s a reason why flings aren’t in the same categories as true relationships.

If I could fall for him, that means my heart could break, too.

“I have to go to work,” Sebastian says. “But I’ll be around later, okay?”

“He’s a good person, Seb.” I cross my arms again, holding on to my elbows like they’re anchors. “I’m... I’m glad he’s here.”

“I’m glad, too.” He gives me a half smile. “If you decide it’s going somewhere, don’t hide it.”

Chapter 31

Nikolai

I’ve never seen a volleyball match in person, but the instant it begins, I learn two things:

One, volleyball is awesome.

Two, Isabelle is electric on the court.

I haven’t seen her since before Thanksgiving break, although we texted throughout it. I never celebrated Thanksgiving in Russia, for obvious reasons, but the version I know, a catered meal and a table full of Grandfather’s business associates, doesn’t seem quite right. Hers was packed with football and talk about her niece, who is due soon, and she ate homemade everything, even the pumpkin pie. I, meanwhile, hid in the butler pantry with Cricket after the staff left to finish off the open champagne.

As good as it was to catch up with her, I think I’d have liked Isabelle’s version better.

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