Page 149 of Wicked Serve

“You should be really proud of yourself.” He steps closer. His eyes are soft, too soft, with kindness. I don’t want to see it right now. “You gave him the push to live his dream, Izzy. That’s huge.”

I stare at my feet. “I am proud of him.”

“You should be.”

“He deserves this so much.” I risk a look at my brother, hating how I can’t stop my runaway thoughts. “But what if...”

“What?”

I press my lips together, shaking my head. He might not trust himself yet, not with his emotions or with me, but I trust him. Worrying myself to distraction about impossibilities won’t help.

“You can tell me.”

“What if he doesn’t... come back? What if he realizes he likes his new life better without me in it?”

The words leave me before I can tamp them down. After he called me on the way to the airport, I felt so certain that I’d see him again, but even the sight of that bracelet on his wrist isn’t enough to quell the thunderstorm in my heart. He might slip out of my life the way he did the first time, only now, it would be so much worse.

I used to tell myself that I could handle him becoming a stranger. I know better now. The memories run so deep, I wouldn’t recover.

“Oh, Izzy,” Penny says as she reaches the top of the stairs.

“That’s not going to happen,” Cooper says firmly.

“You can’t know that.”

“Actually, I can.” He tugs me into a hug. “He’s doing this for you. He told me so.”

“You spoke to him?”

“Called him after his first game.”

I pull away, searching my brother’s eyes. “How did he seem?”

“Like he got his ass kicked.” There’s amusement in his voice, and a hint of envy. “But good, too. He had an appointment with a therapist.”

“Katherine told me he found a good one.”

“Which means he’s working on himself,” Penny says.

“I know.” I wipe my eyes again. I’ve locked these thoughts away for a fortnight, throwing myself into distractions. Now I can’t keep the emotions at bay. I adore him, and I understand why he did what he did, but if he doesn’t come back, if he realizes I don’t fit into his new future...

It’ll still be worth it. If I lose him because of this, but he has his hockey career, then I’ll suck it up and be grateful. I’ll put on a smile whenever I see him play, because I’ll know he’s doing what he loves, and healing in the process.

“He’s one of my best friends now, you know.” Cooper makes a face. “Still not sure how that happened.”

“Blame my dad,” Penny says wryly.

“You trust Nik, right?” He waits for me to nod before continuing. “I trust him, too. And I’m glad he’s with you.”

“He cares about you so much,” Penny adds. “I could tell that the moment he came to visit you in the hospital.”

I open the door to my bedroom, newly exhausted. I notice the fresh vase of flowers on my desk—Penny gives me a quick hug and tells me to enjoy them, before she and Cooper give me privacy—but my attention lingers on Nik’s leather jacket, thrown over the back of my desk chair. He left it behind, and I haven’t had the heart to put it in my closet.

I shut the door and slip on the jacket. I press my nose to the collar and breathe. It still smells like him, clean and masculine and slightly spiced.

I shove my hands into the pockets as I sink onto the end of my bed. My fingers brush a piece of paper.

It’s a photograph—tiny, folded up twice. I smooth it out.

---