Page 104 of The Version You Hide

“So…Grace? She’s your grandmother?” Liv asks.

“Yeah,” I answer, still in shock that Kristen had unknowingly met my grandmother before she’d even met me. “That’s what she tells me.”

“Mackenzie, this is insane,” Kristen says, her eyes widening. “She would be able to answer so many questions you have. She would know where your mother is. Maybe you can finally – ” She stops talking when she sees the silent tear that trails down my cheek. “Mac?”

“She’s gone,” I whisper. “She died. Last year sometime.”

“Oh, Mackenzie.” Liv is out of her seat now, scooting

closer to me on the bench seat I’m sharing with Kristen.

I’ve never had girlfriends like this. At least, not since before I met Ethan. He’d made sure I was kept as isolated as possible from everyone and everything.

Sitting here, sandwiched between these two amazing women as they comfort me, I now know what I’ve been missing out on. It makes me feel silly for taking so long to confide in them. I wish I had of been able to convince myself sooner that they’d only ever offer me love and acceptance and their unwavering support.

I fill Kristen and Liv in on the rest of the details. About how Grace found me, what I’d learned about my mother, and the letter that she left for me that detailed her depression. By the time I’m finished, both Kristen and Liv have tears streaming from their eyes too.

“Oh my god, Mackenzie,” Kristen says, curling an arm around my shoulders. “I should have been there for you. I had no idea.”

“It’s not your fault,” I say, swiping at my eyes. “I shut you out. I shut everyone out. My first instinct was to shut Grace out too.”

“Look, I know we haven’t known each other that long,” Liv begins. “But I know a thing or two about how difficult it is to have to reinvent yourself in a new town full of new faces. I know what it’s like to hide parts of yourself away. I did that too. For so long, I was scared to let people see the real me, but it was only when I opened up to them that good things started happening for me. Now, I can’t imagine ever being any happier than I am right now.”

A hopeful smile warms my cheeks. “I feel like I’m only just learning who the real me is.”

“You’ve been through so much, Mac. But you’re strong and brave and beautiful.” Kristen tightens her arm around my shoulder. “You might not be able to see the real you yet, but I can. And I bet Dylan can too.”

“Does he know?” Liv asks. “About everything that happened with Grace?”

I nod. “Yeah. He thinks I should go back and see her. We didn’t exactly leave things on the best of terms the last time I visited.”

“I think you should too,” Liv says.

“Me too,” Kristen agrees. “She obviously came looking for you because she cares. I mean, your mother had her reasons for doing what she did, but it isn’t Grace’s fault that she couldn’t be a part of your life. I’m sure if she’d known about you, she would have done everything she could to help you.”

“Yeah. I’m starting to see that now.”

“Go see her,” Kristen says. “I can drive you there if you like.”

“Thanks.” I aim a bittersweet smile back at my sister. “I might just take you up on that.”

I have every intention of returning to the studio to see Grace, but there’s someone else I need to see first. Someone that I should have gone to see a long time ago. The idea of it sends a ball of dread sinking into the pit of my stomach, but I’ve been putting it off for way too long.

I force myself to eat the rest of the pasta I’ve ordered for lunch and then we visit a few more shops.

Liv buys some new books at the local indie bookstore.

Kristen purchases Henley a gag gift – a pair of socks that say ‘I can’t keep calm. I’m a drummer.’ I scour the art store for a few extra paint colours. I’m still not certain of what I’ll paint on my canvas, but a few ideas have started to form in my mind.

As we head back to Cliff Haven, I think about how glad I am that I listened to Dylan and came out with the girls today. I left home today with a head full of uncertainty, a bundle of nerves in my gut but I’m returning with a grateful heart.

When Liv drops us home, Kristen dumps her bag on the hall table and flops down on the couch. She brings her hand up to rest on her stomach. “God, I’m so full from lunch I might go into a food coma. You wanna watch a movie or something?”

She picks up the remote and starts flicking through the channels as I stand in the doorway, weaving my fingers together anxiously. “Actually, I was wondering if I could ask you a massive favour.”

“Sure. What’s up?” She sits a little higher, straightening herself when she notices my unease.

“I was wondering if I could borrow your car.”

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