Her words stopped me in my tracks. She had a point. I was treating her the same way I had treated Vanessa. Christ, had that been a shit show of a situation, and here I was, treating Maddy like she and Vanessa were the same person. In reality, they could not have been more different.
I sighed heavily, making peace with the decision to be transparent with her, at least on this matter. “I have been a Dominant for eight years now, in the real sense, at least. Last year, I met a woman at a local dungeon. She and I hit it off pretty quickly. Our wants were aligned, and we did a test scene together at the dungeon. It went well, so we agreed to negotiate a dynamic between the two of us.”
“So you were in a relationship?” she asked, but I quickly shook my head.
“No, not a relationship in any kind of romantic sense. In fact, that was one of the boundaries, or limits, I put into place in our negotiations. It was to be a play dynamic only. Nothing more official than that, and definitely not romantic.”
“Scratching an itch,” Maddy muttered quietly.
“Exactly. Except she didn’t see it that way. After a few scenes together, she started pushing those limits, asking for more care at first.”
“Aftercare?” she asked, once again surprising me with her knowledge of the lifestyle vernacular. She was nothing if not a quick study, it seemed.
“Yes, exactly. It was little things that began to turn into bigger things. Before long, she was showing up here, upset and crying about how I was not showing herenough affection. She started making demands for dates, for cuddling outside of aftercare, and more. She wanted a relationship.” Going back through the events of that time had me stressed. I pinched the bridge of my nose, hopeful of staving off the headache that was beginning to pulse at my temples.
“She broke your boundaries,” she whispered. My eyes lifted, watching as her brow furrowed. Not with confusion, but with anger at the idea of breaking boundaries.
“Ending things with her was difficult, and I do not want to go through that again,” I finished with a heavy sigh.
“Niko, you have to know that not everyone is like her. I understand boundaries. Quite well, actually. I just wish you had given me enough respect to at least talk to me. To give me a chance, instead of assuming I would be like her.”
“You’re right—”
“Wait, what?”
“I said, you’re right,” I repeated, a little louder so she could hear me more clearly.
“I’m sorry. I don’t think I caught that. One more time, please?”
“You little brat.” I could not hold back my smirk at her little display of sass, grabbing the pillow from behind me and smacking her with it. In all honesty, I was grateful for the moment of levity.
“From what I hear, you like brats,” she teased.
“I really am going to kill Jax,” I muttered, vowing to myself to make his life hell or die trying.
“So, can we please have a real discussion about this? If you still choose to not move forward with our… let’s call ititch-scratching, then so be it. But I think it deserves an actual conversation, at the very least.” I could not find fault in her words, so I nodded my agreement.
The talk lasted hours, to the point that sunlight gave way to shadows. Even Sully had knocked on the door at one point, offering us a tray with two plates of dinner, set just outside the door. I made a mental note to thank him later after this conversation was over. As it was, there was no way I was interrupting the incredible negotiation that had begun between Maddy and me.
She was insightful and expressive as she asked questions. And she gave as good as she got. I found myself impressed by her candor and her curiosity. She had boundaries and wasn’t afraid to speak them, regardless of how I felt about a particular act. She had a backbone, and I found it immensely refreshing.
Far too often, I had found that subs, usually new to the lifestyle, refused to set limits or boundaries out of a misplaced desire to please the Dominant they were negotiating with. But that was wildly dangerous behavior and a massive red flag. But that wasn’t Maddy. No, she spoke her mind, and had more desire to truthfully represent herself than she did to please me.
“Before we end this, I just want to make something clear, Niko,” she said as the negotiations came to a close. The sound of crickets chirping away outside accompanied our conversation now, singing their melody among the chorus of summer-time nocturnal animals.
“What’s that?” I asked, feeling thefirst bits of exhaustion start to hit me. A glance at the clock told me we had been talking for hours now, and the evening had come and passed.
“I understand why you were so hesitant before. Getting burned by someone you thought you could trust? That’s not small potatoes. If I didn’t make that clear at the beginning of this conversation, I apologize. I understand your boundaries, and I have no desire for this to be anything more than some exploration and fun for me.” Her words touched me, the feeling sitting uncomfortably tight in my chest.
“Thank you for understanding.”
“That being said, I fully intend to continue pushing your buttons. Especially now that I understand the difference between punishments andfunishments,” she added with a wink.
“Oh yeah? Then tell me, what are the differences? And it’ll be harder than you think to find that balance. The lines have been drawn now, and boundaries set. Think you can handle it?” I asked with a smirk, loving the fact that she chose to end this incredibly serious conversation with some brattiness.
“Punishments are for things done in violation of the rules or boundaries and are handled quickly and immediately with a conversation. Funishments are, in this case, earned and tallied by clicks, and will be dealt with in a mutually agreed upon manner during a scene. And ooh,buddy, I think I’m more than up to the challenge,” she quipped as she stood to leave the room.
And I had only one thing to say to that.