Page 54 of Nikolai (Kansas City Reapers)

She simply shook her head, choosing non-verbalcommunication for now. I couldn’t blame her; my own mind was swirling with thoughts and feelings after what we had just experienced together. There was always a level of preciousness that happened after a punishment scene, especially a submissive’s first one. Doubt and dread filled me each time, worrying if I had pushed too hard or taken things too far. I spent far too much time going over every detail to make sure I had not crossed any lines.

But with Maddy, I knew I had not. I had specifically made sure of it. My only fear now was that it had been too much for her, even without breaking any boundaries.

I worked to calm my own racing heart and swirling apprehension. Once she had settled into the bath, I grabbed the small footstool, set it behind the head of the tub, and took a seat.

“You just relax, and let me care for you. Don’t worry about anything. Just relax.” My hands rubbed at her shoulders for a moment before sliding up the length of her neck. I helped her to shift down, tipping her head back so her hair was fully submerged in the water.

“This is one of my favorite parts of BDSM,” I murmured as I reached for the mint and tea tree oil shampoo.

“It is?” she asked in a croaky, hoarse voice. She had made so many incredible, scrumptious sounds for me that she had literally screamed her voice raw. Poor thing.

“It is. Taking care of a submissive is something that I take very seriously.”

“Even a submissive you’re mad at?” Her voice was sosmall, her arms crossing over her body beneath the water’s surface in an attempt to make herself smaller.

I shifted around the bathtub slightly until I could stare into her ocean-blue eyes. My fingers touched her chin gently, lifting until her eyes fully met mine. “I want to make one thing crystal clear to you, princess,” I began, making sure my words were received gently as well as firmly. “I am not mad at you. I was never mad at you. I was frustrated. I was worried. But not mad. And we handled it exactly how we set out to handle these things. You handled your punishment beautifully, and all is forgiven. The slate is wiped clean.”

Her eyes flitted back and forth, searching my own as tears welled up and slid silently down her cheeks. Suddenly, her arms shot out of the water, splashing me as she wrapped them around my neck. She pulled me down to her as she hugged me tight, clinging to me almost desperately. Her chest plastered against my own. Not that I cared. Not one fucking bit.

“Hey, now. It’s ok,” I whispered, soothing her as she shook in my arms. Running my hand down her wet hair, I held her to me, clinging to her just as much as she was clinging to me.

After a long moment, she settled, releasing me and slipping back into the water, resting her head against the edge of the tub once more. I took my seat again, picking up the shampoo and filling my palm with the heavily scented gel.

I washed her hair, taking simple joy in the way she went limp in my arms, allowing me to move her this wayand that as I massaged her scalp and took care of this precious creature who had submitted to me.

“So why do you enjoy this part so much? Feels like it’s meant more for me than you,” she muttered softly, groaning as I tugged gently at her hair, pulling the suds through her tresses.

“It does plenty for me. Make no mistake about that.” I guided her head back once more, dipping her head back into the water to rinse the suds clean slowly and carefully.

“Tell me about it.”

I took a moment, composing myself as I grabbed a soft flannel cloth from beneath the sink, dunking it into the water to wet it before applying soap and lathering it up to wash her clean.

“Well, as a Dominant, I enjoy what I do. But punishment isn’t easy for me, either.”

“Seems easy to me.”

“Well, it’s not. It is hard. I wanted to just forgive you. To let it slide.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“Well, because that would have made me break a vow. Several, actually.”

“You make it sound like you’re a knight of Camelot or something.”

“I guess you could look at it that way. But in all honesty, I take my promises, my vows, and my duty very seriously.”

“What… promises or whatever, would you be breaking?”

“For one, I would have been breaking my vow to Quinn to keep you safe. To protect you. That was the biggest thing on my mind. I would have been breaking my promise to my brothers here to keep this situation under control, and to keep them safe as well. Your decision could have led to us all being in danger at the hands of the men who want you dead. But above all, I would have been breaking my vow to you as a Dominant. I made a promise to keep you safe.”

“You weren’t putting me in danger by not punishing me.”

“True, but I made a promise to you to honor my word. To be stable and sure in this dynamic, and to follow through on the punishments we agreed to, if you earned them. If I had not held to my word, it would have done more damage by breaking your trust.”

She grew quiet, taking in my words and my meaning as I rinsed the soap from her body, still letting the flannel cloth run over her body in languid, lazy strokes that had no real intention other than to keep our physical connection intact.

“That still doesn’t really answer my question,” she finally responded, sighing as I ran the cloth down from hip to ankle and back up her body again.

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