Page 38 of Ever After All

I heard footsteps approaching and took a slow breath, willing the adrenaline coursing through my body to ease up.

“There you are.” Rhys’s voice reached me from the doorway.

Glancing over my shoulder, I tried to keep my tone casual. “Looking for me?”

He studied me for a moment before asking, “You okay?”

Maybe it was my conversation with Rosie’s brother, but I couldn’t keep the truth from bubbling up. “I confronted Jake the day before he drank himself to death. It was about the way he treated McKenna.”

Rhys’s hand had been resting on the inside of the doorframe, and it fell away as he stared at me. “Oh,” he said

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault Jake drank himself to death. He partied hard in college.” Rhys took another step into the room. “Is this why you’ve kept your distance all this time?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that. I understand you had reasons that have nothing to do with that, but I always felt like I was missing something.”

I took a quick breath, turning and resting my hips against the table cluttered with supplies. “I guess so.” I shrugged one shoulder. “I always felt bad. I know how close you and Jake were.”

“We were, but I knew he had a temper. I didn’t know about the way he treated McKenna until that all came out. I’m glad you confronted him. If I’d known then, I would’ve too.”

“It wasn’t like I was planning to fight him. I just wanted him to know I knew and to back the fuck off. I didn’t know he would die the next day. I also told him he was like our grandfather, and I hate that I said that.”

Rhys took a quick breath, his tongue pressing into his cheek as he considered my words. “Look, it happened. You can’t blame yourself for his drinking problem. We can’t change the past. I hope to God you haven’t blamed yourself all this time.”

“I can intellectualize it, but it’s always been there in the back of my thoughts. It was only the next night that he died.”

My brother’s cheeks puffed out when he let out a big sigh. “Jake was responsible for his own choices. I think life was a fucking mess for him. We all understand better now why he drank so hard and partied so hard. He just wanted to forget, I think.” Rhys took another step, placing his hands on my shoulders as I straightened and pushed away from the table. “It wasn’t your fault. It’s a miracle he didn’t drink himself to death before that. There was more than one night when I had to help him back to his dorm and make sure he was okay. Blackout drunk was a fairly common state for him in those days.”

I swallowed through the tight pain in my throat. “Maybe so, but I just wanted you to know.”

“Are you gonna tell Mom?”

I pondered it for a moment before I shrugged. “I don’t know. It felt more important to make sure you knew. I’m not sure how she would take it.”

Rhys tipped his head to the side. “I don’t know either. It was enough for her to accept how Jake treated McKenna. I don’t think her knowing this is going to be any more hurtful than what she already knows. She’s had to come to terms with the reality that she couldn’t protect us from our grandfather when we were younger. She couldn’t protect Jake and everything that happened set in motion a chain of events. The way Jake treated McKenna wasn’t okay. At all. I think it’s good that you confronted him. I honestly—and I really mean this—do not believe that’s the reason he drank himself to death. He made partying a lifestyle, and it wasn’t just alcohol. The amount of substances in his system that night was so significant they couldn’t even say they knew which one killed him. He met the level for alcohol poisoning, but he had opiates and more thrown in the mix. He was running inside, trying to forget everything.”

The tight place I’d held inside my chest for so many years loosened slightly. Maybe Rhys couldn’t give me absolution, but it was a relief to talk to him and to hear him point out the obvious truth of Jake’s life.

“Thank you,” I said gruffly.

“For what?”

I cleared my throat. “For this. For letting me tell you and for not being angry.”

He pulled me into a quick hug, squeezing me fiercely before he stepped back. “It’s just the truth.”

We walked upstairs together. After that, I left to talk to our mom because I was in the mind frame to handle it and buoyed a little by Rhys’s assurances.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Wyatt

It was always strange to walk into our childhood home. A mix of emotions rushed into me whenever I did. We had all grown up here, and the bond we formed as a messy cluster of siblings was strong. There were so many good memories here because we loved each other. When our dad was here, there were good memories with him. I’d been young when he passed, but even then, I could still remember a little, mostly a feeling of security. Following that were the dark days of our grandfather. The flip side of his cruelty was bonding us together even more tightly. Except for Jake.

“Hi,” my mom said warmly when I walked into the kitchen.