Page 51 of One More Time

“Just that. Jake used to bully me and hit me.”

“Are you sure?” my mother pressed.

Anger rose in a fiery rush, and I didn’t even know where that came from.

“Of course I’m sure, Mom. I don’t know what you know about abuse and the kind of abuse Jake experienced, but it’s not shocking for someone to lash out and treat others the way they were treated. Granddad was awful to all of us. He used to hit Jake, and then he raped him. You know this. Why is it so crazy to think Jake might lash out at someone? My therapist —”

My mother’s eyes narrowed. “Did your therapist convince you of this? Is that what happened?” I was so taken aback by her reaction that I almost got up and left. I forced myself to stay and see this through.

“No, Mom. I always remembered this. Jake used to enjoy scaring the shit out of me from behind. He would shove me and hit me. I loved him too. It wasn’t always bad, but I’m trying to be honest with you. We have too many secrets in our family.”

My mother’s nostrils flared. “Okay. Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because I’m tired of hiding it. I know you’re still going to be sad, and you’re going to miss Jake, but it’s exhausting to pretend he was some kind of saint. He wasn’t.”

“I don’t think your brother was a saint.”

“Well, you act like he was, Mom!” I swallowed through the tight ball of pain in my throat. I felt hot all over. “I’m here, and I’m alive. You don’t do Jake’s memory any favors by pretending he was perfect.”

“Did he hurt your brothers?”

I shrugged because I didn’t actually know. I sensed something might have happened with Wyatt, but I honestly wasn’t sure. “If you don’t believe me, ask Wyatt. He saw Jake hit me. More than once.”

My mother stayed quiet. I didn’t know how to read her expression.

“Well?” I pressed.

“Honey, this is a shock to me. I’m sorry if I’m not reacting the way you expected.”

That was all I could take. I stood and walked swiftly out of the house. I ignored my mother calling my name as she followed me to the front door.

Minutes later, I was driving and swiping away the hot tears rolling down my cheeks. I was supposed to return to the office but didn’t want to. I couldn’t face anyone right now. Instead, I parked my car at my house and walked to the docks. I went down a side trail leading to the beach and sat on one of my favorite rocks. It had this little dip in it, perfect for sitting.

My mother’s words echoed in my thoughts. I didn’t know what I had expected from her, but I wanted her to believe me.

My tears dried as I concluded that it didn’t really matter. All this time, I kept quiet, and nothing was really different now that I’d told the truth. If anything, I felt worse.

I wanted comfort, and the first person who came to mind was Jack. That was a problem. I could sense him pulling back the last few times I’d seen him. The next time he texted or called about coming over, I resolved I would tell him maybe it wasn’t a good idea.

“I told Mom.”

Wyatt had stopped by my office because he was filling out the official paperwork with HR now that he was working for us again.

His eyes widened. He closed the door behind him and walked across my office to sit in front of my desk. “You did?”

I felt numb about the whole thing. “I did. I’m not sure she believed me. She asked me if I was sure. I hope it’s okay that I told her you’d seen Jake hit me.”

Wyatt’s expression was hard to read as he studied me. “It’s fine. Do you want to talk to anybody else about it?”

I looked down at my desk, idly tracing along the grain of the wood. “I don’t know.”

“Griffin knows, and he believes you.”

“I know. You mentioned that before.”

Wyatt’s gaze remained inscrutable as he nodded. “Do you mind if I mention it to Rhys? I just don’t want you to feel alone. It’s no secret that Jake was troubled. I mean, fuck, he drank himself to death in college. If you ask me not to say anything to anyone else, I won’t.”

I pondered my other siblings knowing and realized I didn’t really care anymore. “You can tell Rhys. Or anyone else. It’s fine.”

---