Page 39 of One More Time

“I completely understand. If it weren’t that I needed a place for my brother to be with me, I would probably happily stay in one of these.”

McKenna leaned forward and set her bottle on the coffee table. “You said you wanted to explain something.”

She faced me fully. The desire I felt for her was an ever-present distraction. When she lifted her hand, her fingers absently fiddling with one of the buttons on her silky blouse, I wanted to lean over and drag my tongue along her skin.

I forced my attention away. “I want you,” I said.

Pink crested high on McKenna’s cheeks. “That’s what you wanted to talk to me about?”

“After the other night…” I tried to corral my competing urges into a sensible path forward. As I stared into McKenna’s pretty eyes, I had to face reality. Nothing about my reaction to McKenna or what she made me want was sensible.

Still, I forced myself to forge ahead. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I feel like I need to be straightforward about the fact that my life doesn’t have room for a relationship. Once my brother’s here, I’ll be focused on him. Beyond that, my job isn’t convenient for anything like a relationship.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Did I give you the impression I wanted a relationship?”

Her blunt comment knocked me mentally off balance for a beat. “No, but I actually like you. I don’t want to be an asshole, even by accident. Beyond my life right now, I’ve never wanted to have kids. That seems like something many people want.”

“I don’t.” McKenna’s reply was sharp and clear.

I sensed hints of anger and pain underneath her words.

“Okay.”

We were quiet for a few beats before McKenna leaned forward, reaching for her bottle of mead and taking a long swallow before setting it down. “Is that it, then?” she asked.

I felt like this conversation hadn’t gone the way I intended and tried to correct the course. “McKenna, the other night was incredible. I don’t want it to be?—”

She cut in swiftly. “We can just leave it at one night.” The expression on her face was carefully flat.

Disappointment sliced through me. Even if I was busy reminding myself I wasn’t a good bet, that I didn’t have time for anything else, it hurt more than I expected for her to so easily insist one night was all we would have.

Before I could think better of it, I spoke. “I don’t just want one night.” There was a force behind my words, surprising me with its intensity.

McKenna blinked, her eyes widening slightly. I reached for her hand, where it rested on her knee, and turned it over in mine. Lifting it, I dusted a kiss on the inside of her wrist. Her breath hissed through her teeth. The sound of her swallowing was loud in the charged space between us.

“Oh.”

“Is that all you want? Just one night? Because I want more than one more time with you, and I have a feeling that won’t be enough.” Me, the bad bet, the guy who never wanted anyone to expect anything, was fighting for more than a one-night stand.

She shook her head but didn’t say anything.

“Does that mean you don’t want one more night, or you do want more?”

The flush on her cheeks deepened. “That’s not all I want.”

“Tell me why you don’t want to have a relationship.” My curiosity got the best of me.

Wariness flickered in her eyes before she shrugged casually. “I just don’t see why it’s such a big deal for everyone. That’s all.”

“Is that really all?” I pressed.

You’re sure asking a lot of questions, my cynical mind taunted me.

I sure was.

“That’s all that matters,” she said tartly.

It said something about just how bad I had it for this woman that I considered that a win, that she even admitted there might be something more.

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