Page 16 of One More Time

“I wouldn’t change a thing when it comes to my son, but—” She paused, taking a sip of her drink. “Children are complicated. Eric’s a gift in my life, but I worry about how I can protect him from his father. Even though I feel so blessed to have Eric, I’m concerned he’ll feel differently when he’s older.”

We all sat quietly for a minute. Because that was the catch. Tessa was an amazing mom and a fierce protector of her son. But she could never change who his father was and how he treated them.

Rosie cocked her head to the side as she studied Tessa. “It’ll be okay. There is no perfect, not for any life, not for any child. Eric’s got you, and that’s a lot.”

Tessa smiled over at her, straightening her shoulders. “And three of the best unofficial aunts in the universe.”

We toasted to that, and talk shifted to lighter matters. Later that night, after my friends left, I considered the conversation. I’d always known I didn’t want kids. It was a decision I didn’t doubt. There was that, and then the idea of being serious in any relationship. That made me skittish. There was always the pull to wonder. You just never knew what someone could turn into and what could happen.

My parents had wanted a big family and had one. Then our father died when I was only a toddler. I had no memory of him.

While I wished I could maybe find a good partner in life, I knew what loss felt like. Even though I hadn’t known my father, he was still this empty hole in my life, a gap of nothing other than wishes and hopes. If I had a father. If, if, if…

I shook those thoughts away, and my mind spun to Jack and my friends’ teasing about him. Sure, he was hot, and we definitely had chemistry. The whole casual thing had never really worked out for me, but I wondered with Jack. Maybe he would be worth the risk.

Chapter Ten

Jack

The automated voicemail message droned in my ear. As soon as it beeped for me to leave a message, I said, “Hey, it’s your brother. Again. Please call me. Love you, asshole.”

I tapped the screen to end the call and leaned my head back as I took a slow breath. A year ago, my brother got some shitty fucking news. After three rounds of chemo, his lung cancer was back. The odds weren’t good, and he didn’t want more treatment. To make it even shittier, he didn’t smoke, never had. The best guess was exposure to radon gas from living in an area where it was common in homes. Fun facts: radon gas was the largest source of radiation exposure for people who lived in Washington state, and radon exposure was the second leading cause of lung cancer.

His life, for now, was a ticking time bomb. One I would just have to live with.

“Fuck,” I said to the sky.

“What the hell did the sky do to you?” A voice came from in front of me. I leveled my gaze and found a man standing a few feet away.

I shrugged. “Sometimes life is just shit. In this case, it’s not my bad luck, but it still pisses me off.”

The guy cracked a dry smile, but the look in his eyes was serious. Maybe he didn’t know my story, yet I sensed he knew a little bit about bad luck.

“Well, not gonna argue that point.” His boots crunched on the frozen gravel as he closed the distance between us, holding his hand out.

I shook it, and his grip was firm and dry. He wasn’t one to linger on a handshake either, which I appreciated. “I’m Hudson Fox, the superintendent for the hotshot crew here. You look a lot like Jack Hamilton.”

I chuckled. “I am Jack Hamilton. We met over video, but the reception was a little spotty, and you were sitting at a table in the back.”

“I fucking hate video conferences,” he grumbled.

“Understood. Can’t say I love them. They are convenient, though.”

“True that. Welcome. We’re glad to have you.” He dipped his head. “Want to come inside, or would you like to curse at the sky some more?”

A laugh rustled in my throat. “The sky can’t help, and it’s definitely not the sky’s fault. Let’s go inside. Let me grab my bag.”

I took a few steps back toward my truck to grab the gear bag out of the passenger seat that had traveled with me for the past few years. I kicked the door shut with my foot as I slung the bag over my shoulder.

Hudson already held open the door to the back of the building. He gestured me in with a flourish. Hudson had rumpled brown curls, bright green eyes, and an easygoing smile.

It was midmorning, a few minutes before he’d texted me to come in today. For, as he put it, “the official tour.”

“Right this way.” He walked past me, and I followed. “I don’t think there’s much different here than other stations you’ve been in.” He thumbed to his left. “Break room and laundry in there.” He gestured in the other direction. “Showers there.” The hallway opened up, and he paused by a row of lockers, rapping his knuckles on a locker to one side. “You can toss your bag in there. We share the space with the town crew.”

“Good to know,” I said, quickly chucking my bag into an empty locker.

“Come on in here. I’m not sure who will be around today. Winter is pretty quiet. We help on town calls here and there, do training, and so on. We might be out for a few stretches if we get called to the Lower 48. For the most part, though, you can consider roughly November to March the best time to take a vacation if you want one. You mentioned you were buying a house.” At my nod, he continued. “I’d get settled now. Summer is nuts. We have a few quiet stretches, but that’s about it. Follow me.”

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