Page 64 of Tipping Point

And then last week, here, when he came to fetch it back, and looked at the book.

I lean forward, grab it off the table, page to the last empty shot.

Why does it matter?

He confessed. He confessed he had found his passion for driving again, and it was evident in how he raced. Something was different.

The push and pull between us.

His anguished face when he stopped me from undressing me, from undressing him. His mother’s words a mantra.

You can either have a family or be a race car driver.

Dixon’s wife. How she doesn’t fear death but knows the loss of her will cause her loved one’s pain and grief, the lies she tells to ease their pain.

He lost his nerve when he got into an accident. That’s what everyone thinks.

What if it isn’t that?

I have nothing to offer women.

Nothing except dresses and diamonds and going down on them.

Dixon’s wife tells lies to ease their pain. She is trying to spare them.

Finnegan Brennan is doing the exact same thing.

But he fucks women all the time?

You can either have a family or be a race car driver.

Finnegan Brennan fears causing a loved one pain.

Better to not love anyone at all.

11

Chapter 11

CAMILLE

Imiss another race to attend Dixon’s wife’s funeral.

Because it’s London, it rains, and we’re a small group attending. Amy cries on my shoulder and Dixon thanks us with an empty, hollow voice when we leave.

I can tell he spoke to her about dying, giving her permission to pass, peace to move on, and it’s clear he regrets it, feels her loss more than ever.

Would take it back for just another second with her.

Two other things happen that week.

In Hungary, Finn misses out on a podium finish by one spot, coming in fourth, and I finally submit my proposal for the Silk Road documentary to WebFlix Max.

And they are considering it.

My stomach swoops at the prospect.

Now, sunning my face in the August Dutch sunshine, I’m happy to be back and filming.

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