Page 104 of Tipping Point

Now I can tell I had it all wrong. Today isn’t about him at all.

Today is about Grace. About Hope.

Hope comes to stand beside me, and we look down at her mother.

“It’s hard to look at her through your eyes,” she says softly. “I’m so used to how she looks. To me, she just looks like my mom. But when new people look at her, I forget that they see her differently. They only see what happened to her. They don’t see who she used to be.”

“Who was she?”

Hope smiles. “She was my mother.” She says it as if she’s revealing a secret. “She still smells the same.” She reaches for her mother’s hand, lifts it to her face. Smiles before she puts it back.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.” She puts a tentative hand on my arm. When I look at her her eyes are sad, but they soften when she looks at her mother.

“Some questions today might be hard.” I take a breath, try to explain. “It can be difficult, to be honest.” I look at her imploringly. “It can be unbearable. But that’s not what I’m trying to do. So if you struggle, please take your time, and feel free to tell me to get lost if I cross a line.”

She gives a quiet laugh and I join in with a smile. We startle when we hear someone clearing their throat behind us.

It’s Finn, and he rips the breath from me when I turn to take him in.

He’s well dressed and shaved, his arm in a sling that wraps around his body, pinning it to his chest. He’s standing on the threshold, and for a moment he wavers before he steps tentatively inside. When he walks over, he gives a small grimace of pain, but he doesn’t take his eyes off me.

His eyes are dark brown, and in the lighting, I see flecks of gold.

Something about him is different.

There’s a chasm between us and I don’t know how to cross it, how to reach him.

It’s suffocating me.

He makes to walk over to me. I can even see a question form on his lips, but Bruce steps in, interrupting Finn before he can speak to me, and starts wiring him up with the microphone. Casey approaches Hope and guides her into the seat next to her mother, where she applies powders and sprays as she gets Hope camera ready.

Dixon makes his way over and stands quietly at my shoulder. He raises his eyebrows and I nod.

“I’m okay.”

“Thanks for doing this, Cam.” He glances at Finn over his shoulder, a look of pure hostility. I look over too. Bruce is being heavy-handed, and I watch as Finn winces when his arm gets jostled. He runs a tired hand over his face, taking it in stride.

It takes me back to the last time we were together, when I knew he had every intention of dying, and he couldn’t even muster the energy to deny it.

Jay and Evan are shooting daggers at him.

The hostility in the room is as thick as syrup, and I watch Hope as she peers curiously past Casey to take it in. She gives a small frown.

Poor kid. Doing this, today, must already be such an enormous challenge, and now she’s walked into a room filled to the brim with history.

She fidgets in her seat.

“Hope?” I ask loudly.

Everyone stills and glances at me. When she looks at me curiously, I give her a smile.

“You okay?” My voice is louder than it needs to be, and it has the desired effect. It reminds everyone why we’re here.

It breaks the hostility in the room.

She nods. Sitting next to her mother, their resemblance is striking.

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