Page 75 of Trip Through Your Wires

“People come into our lives for reasons and seasons,” I shrug. “She is in mine for life, just as Cruz is for you.”

He nods and brings his fist up, resting the side of his head against it. “What happened to you the day you met Ellery?”

I take a deep breath, giving myself one last moment alone with the secret I’d been keeping from him. As soon as he finds out, it will help answer a question I know he’s asked himself—why do we have such a strong connection? A connection Ellery has hinted at since last summer.

“A few months before I met Ellery,” I exhale slowly, “I hurt my knee. It was a freak accident. The plate slipped out from under me on the mound and my leg went one way and my body the other.”

“Plate?” he repeats, with a shake of his head.

“I played softball,” I nod slowly. “I was a pitcher.”

His eyes widen, and brows push to his hairline. “A pitcher?”

“Yes,” I confess. “And I was good. So good, I had scouts watching me from the time I was a freshman. But one second changed my entire life. My ankle rolled over, I heard a pop in my knee, and that was it.”

“Holy shit,” he whispers.

I draw in a shallow breath and continue. “The day I met Ellery I’d just come from a doctor’s appointment where I was told I’d never pitch again. No more pitching meant no athletic scholarship, which meant no more college.”

He studies me with a kind of intensity I once had on the mound and I know there’s probably a dozen questions racing through his mind. “What about academic scholarships?” he asks, looking slightly dazed by my revelation. “You’re smart, Sparky. Like, wicked smart.”

“I applied,” I shrug, “but it wasn’t enough. A couple hundred dollars isn’t enough for tuition at a four year university.”

“And your guidance counselor?” He sits up a bit straighter. “Your coach? Didn’t they help?”

I laugh bitterly. “My guidance counselor was too busy making love to the fifth of Jack he kept in his filing cabinet, and my Coach was a disappointment. When he learned I wouldn’t be returning to the team, he stopped checking in on me. And he wasn’t the only one. My teammates ignored me, even the guys I’d played hardball with as a kid couldn’t be bothered. That’s why I say Ellery saved me. The morning I met her, I’d just lost everything. The sport I loved and my dream of going to college…it was gone, just like that. But when we met, it was like I’d found someone who understood me because she, too, had just lost her dream.”

I take a deep breath and look up. I know Ellery understood how hard it was for me to lose the dream of going to college, but only Jake would understand losing the ability to play ball. Only one who loves the sport as we do would understand.

But that wasn’t all I see in his eyes. He now knows the reason for our connection. The indescribable tether that ties us is clear—the catcher/pitcher bond. A spiritual connection that could not be defined with words. I always assumed the bond was player to player, but I knew it had a hand in the connection he and I shared. I was just too stubborn to admit it.

Through it was an inherent trust that you felt in your core. A bond that was either there or it wasn’t. Once I knew what position Jake played, I tried to deny that it was there between us, but it was futile. It’s why I gave in that night at the cave when we first kissed, and why I gave in every time we were together since. I couldn’t fight my attraction to Jake any more than I could breathe because it was bound by a law that superseded both physical and spiritual.

Did I ever plan to tell him I was a pitcher once? No. It was part of a broken dream that I didn’t think anyone needed to know. That’s why I asked Ellery not to say anything. But I should have known better. Like all secrets, it was bound to come out and now that it has, I can tell that the look in his eyes is not one of sadness, but confirmation. Our intense, natural connection not only makes sense but is irrevocable.

“That’s why you don’t like athletes,” he says matter of fact.

I nod, giving him the only explanation that I can. “I’d known guys like you my whole life and I thought because I was one of them, they would always have my back. But when push came to shove, they didn’t. Those I trusted abandoned me when I needed them most. It’s why I lit you up the night of your party. You were guilty by association.”

“I would never abandon you, Sparky.” He drops his hand and scoots over, reaching for my hand. “You should know that by now.”

I do know that. Jake is one of the most incredible people I have ever met. But he can’t be bogged down by me and my life. He has his own. That’s why I let him go.

“I’m so sorry your dreams were taken from you.” He brings the hand he’s holding to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. “Did you ever get a second opinion?”

“And a third,” I sigh. “My dad refused to give up. It was his dream to see one of us go to college. But surgery was out of the question.”

Jake looks at me, confused. “Why?”

I look down at the money in my hand. “Staying home, going to DCC, and saving for school, that I could do. But even with health insurance, my portion of the surgery doctors said I needed was tens of thousands of dollars. I couldn’t afford it.”

The sadness and regret in Jake’s eyes makes my chest hurt. I don’t want him to feel sorry for me. He needs to know I moved on.

“I was devastated at first,” I admit, “but then my father told me something I will never forget. Dreams can be a part of you for so long, and when you least expect it, change. But that doesn’t mean you still can’t have them. They may not be as bright, but that doesn’t make them any less. Just…different.”

“Smart man,” Jake replies somberly.

“He is,” I nod. “But Jake, that new dream is all I have, and that weekend at Highland I realized it will happen, but not at the same time as all of yours. I couldn’t expect you or Ellery to wait for me while I worked and saved for the chance at mine.”

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