Page 41 of Trip Through Your Wires

I laugh and shake my head. “Come help me?”

He makes his way over and motions for me to sit. Sinking down in the office chair, I blow an errant strand of hair from my eyes, watching as he reaches into the kit and takes out a Band-Aid.

Ripping it open, he peels off one side, wraps it around my finger half-way, before peeling off the other and doing the same. “There,” he says with a click of his tongue. “Right as rain.”

“Uh-huh,” I grumble.

He sits down on the edge of the desk and folds his arms over his chest. “Wanna talk about it?”

I grab the discarded Band-Aid wrapper and toss it in the trash. “Not really. It’s just a nail.”

“I wasn’t talking about the nail.”

I lean back in the chair, seat creaking like hinges on an old door. “What are you talking about then?”

“You’ve been off since you got back from Highland,” he says carefully.

“Off?” I drop my hand and look up. “What do you mean?”

“Well…you’ve only been here an hour and already cleaned the bathrooms, replaced the broken light in the break room, and changed out that receipt paper like you were a pit crew member. And now,” he watches as I reach for a yellow note pad on the desk, “you’re looking for something else to do.”

I reach for a pen and draw a line through the first few items on the running To Do list. “There’s a lot to do in the mornings, you know that.”

“Yeah,” he nods, “but I’m not talking about the store. I’m talking about you. You’re trying to stay busy and you do that when something’s bothering you.”

I doodle on the pad and shrug. “Nothing’s bothering me.”

He draws in a deep breath, then lets it out slowly, looking at me in a way that says bullshit, and he should because he’s right. I am full of shit.

For the past week I have been off because I can’t stop thinking about what happened with Jake the night of the frat party. I can’t believe we had sex and that it was good—no great, actually. I wasn’t a virgin and I wasn’t a prude, but shit, I don’t think I’d ever come so hard.

But it wasn’t the fact we had sex that was throwing me. It was what happened after. The curveball he threw, with all that talk about what we could be. I was trying to close the door and he was trying to keep it open, and that fucked with me. It was still fucking with me.

For the first time in my life I didn’t know what to say or do. I couldn’t talk to him and yet, I hated not talking to him. What could I say after riding him like he was a prized stallion—hey, how was your day? Instead, I listened to the messages he left on my answering machine, debating whether to call him back or not. It was pathetic.

Dammit! Why didn’t I just trust the Magic 8 Ball and stay away from Jake’s room that night like I did my first night there? It said the outlook wasn’t hazy. A stupid toy was crystal fucking clear and I’d ignored it. And because I had, I was now obsessing over one night that should have been nothing more than a memory.

But I can’t tell my brother any of this. We may be close, but the last thing he wants to hear about is my sex life.

“I’m just tired.” I push the pad away from me. “I’ve got a paper due tomorrow and haven’t started yet.”

“Is that all?” he asks, watching as I pick at the hole on the arm of the chair.

“Well, no,” I admit. “If you must know, I’m bummed I won’t see Ellery again for a few months.”

“Really?” he asks. “Why?”

“I’m low on money,” I sigh. I hope to hell he doesn’t ask why. That will only unravel more lies and I just can’t go there right now.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t. “Go see your friend,” he says cheerfully, pushing up from the desk. “I’ll take care of the plane ticket.”

“What?” I look up. “Did you win the lottery?”

“No,” he shakes his head with a laugh. “Just getting better with saving.”

While I would love to see Ellery next month, I’d already come to the decision that I would not. Last week was supposed to be my last trip to Highland. That’s why I crossed the line with Jake in the first place. I’d see her and Cruz wherever they moved to when he was drafted, but the three of them wouldn’t be living together by then.

“I love you,” I smile at my brother, “but no.”

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