Page 96 of Trip Through Your Wires

I consider the question—does it make me happy? If Cruz and I accept the deal, I could help my parents and live my dream. That makes me happy. But what would make me truly happy? Jenica getting to live her dreams, while I am living mine.

I make my way over to one of the deck chairs and sit down and dad follows, taking the seat next to me. He’s starting to age. His temples are graying and the lines under his eyes are more pronounced. I can’t wait until he can retire. Until both he and Mom can.

“Can I ask you something?” he taps my leg.

I sit back and grip the arms of the chair. “Of course.”

“Is she important to you?”

I look down, thinking about all Jenica and I have been through. “I told her, Dad. I told her everything. About what happened with mom and in high school. And she accepted all of it, without reservation.”

He gives me a warm smile. “So what’s the problem?”

“No problem,” I admit. “More of a situation.” He looks at me, clearly not understanding. “She lives in Georgia and works and goes to school down there. And my life, regardless of whether I take that deal with Colorado or another team, is on the road. I can’t expect her to uproot her life to follow me.”

“Does she have to?” he asks.

“No,” I shake my head. “She doesn’t. The issue isn’t with what she won’t do, but what I want her to do. I want to be with her. I don’t want to wait.”

“So it’s about timing,” he nods with understanding.

“Yeah,” I sigh. “I guess it is.”

“Well, let me tell you something about timing,” he sits back. “It is rarely right but when it is,” he smiles, “you go with it.”

I look over, arching my brow. “Meaning?”

“If you want this girl…if you want to be with her…you do whatever it takes to make it happen.”

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

“I am.” He taps the end of the chair. “Timing was off for your mom and me, but I did what needed to be done so she knew we were right.”

“What did it take?” I ask.

“Patience.” He turns his head up to the sky and takes in the stars. “And when the moment was right, a grand gesture.”

“A grand gesture?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “You.”

“Me?” I shake my head. “What do you mean?”

He turns his face down from the sky and looks at me. “Your first steps, your first words, nighttime feedings and diaper changes….I wanted to be there for all of it. You were my boy, and I wanted you to be born with my name. Be my son from the moment you entered this world. So I married your mom in the hospital while she was in labor and you were born five minutes after we said, ‘I Do.’ Then, the next day, I got to work adopting your sister.”

I swallow down the very big lump in my throat. “But your wedding photos…”

“That was for everyone else. But giving you my name, making sure you were born the son of a man who wanted you, that was my gesture.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose, fighting back tears. “Shit, dad. I can’t make that kind of a gesture.”

“And thank goodness for that. I don’t think I am ready to be a grandfather yet. But you will find your own gesture, and when you do, you will know.”

I think of his advice while I am lying in my childhood bed that night, and when I am on the train heading home two days later.

Chapter 21

Jenica

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