Page 34 of Trip Through Your Wires

As his eyes search mine, I can’t help but ask myself the same question. What am I afraid of? Why can’t I just admit there is something between us and seeing him with another girl tonight made me feel a way I’d never felt before?

The answer is simple. Because confessions are feelings, and feelings are complicated, that’s why. I told myself from the beginning this would not be complicated. I wouldn’t let it be. No emotions, no attachment. So why does the idea that this could be my last weekend here with them—with him—make me feel things I never wanted to feel?

“Admit it,” he presses. “Admit you want me. Here, if it makes it easier, I’ll go first. I want you, Sparky. I’ve wanted you from the moment I first laid eyes on you. I haven’t been with another girl because they’re not you. No one is. And tonight when I saw you with O’Brien, yeah, it made me jealous because you’re mine. You’ve been mine from the moment we met.”

He’s breathing hard. His words, charged by tension and heat. Do I want Jake? Yes, but now wasn’t the time to have an existential crisis because I need to close this chapter between us, not start a new one.

Or maybe it doesn’t have to be a new one. Maybe this is the way we end. I once told Ellery the only way to get over one guy was to get under another. Did that same thinking apply if the guy I needed to put behind me was the same one who had become my safety? Maybe giving us what we both want was the most fitting last line of our chapter.

Jake needs to move on from this arrangement of ours, and so do I. If one night, one trip around the bases will do it, why not? There are far worse ways to end things, then admitting you want the very hot guy who has just admitted he wants you, too.

“Fine,” I exhale, “I want you. Happy?”

A big, beautiful smile lights up his face as he pushes my hair back. “There, now was that so hard?”

Wrapping one hand around my lower waist, he grips my chin with the other and kisses me. Only this time, it’s full of hunger as I reach for his shirt and pull it up and over his head, and he does the same with my tank.

“Christ, I love your tits.” He cups my breasts with both hands, his touch feather light as he rolls my nipples expertly between his thumb and forefinger. “Perfect for sucking, while fucking.”

Shit, his has a dirty mouth. Has he always talked this way? Was it new? I liked it and wanted more.

Dropping my head back, I sigh, and when I feel his mouth on my nipple, followed by a gentle tug, I grab a fistful of hair and arch my back.

“Easy,” I hiss, sucking a breath in between my teeth. “They’re cold.”

He laughs and brings one hand back to my neck, as his other kneads my hip. Pushing a hand under his pajama pants, I grip his sizable girth and stroke him. My mouth may not go there, but my hands do and I’ve jerked him off more than a few times with success.

He lies back and reaches over to his nightstand, opening the top drawer and rummaging around. When he finds what he’s looking for, he closes the drawer and lays back down, holding a gold foil packet in his hand.

“If you keep that up,” he moans, watching me in rapt fascination, “I’m going to come in your hand.”

“And?” I stroke him, nails grazing the skin of his balls ever so slightly.

“Get up,” he taps my thigh, “now.”

I let go and place both hands down on the bed, pushing myself up in downward facing dog position as he pulls his pajama pants off and rolls the condom down his shaft. When he’s done, he pinches the tip then reaches for me.

I bend my knees, and ease down onto his lap. “Take a deep breath,” he warns as he nudges the head of his cock against my entrance.

“Wh—” I start to ask but the question is cut off as he breaches my entrance. Jake’s a big guy, his dick big enough to make the average guy envious. But damn, it feels like he’s splitting me in two.

I draw in a sharp breath, while gripping his shoulders with both hands. “You okay?” he asks, eyeing me with concern.

“I’m fine,” I puff out, and dig my nails in deeper. “Don’t stop.”

He inches into me further and looks down. “God damn,” he shakes his head. “You’re so—”

“Tight?” I swallow.

“Full,” he puffs out. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yes,” I swallow. “But shit, you’re not exactly small, Hot Shot.”

“No shit.” He looks up and shoots me another grin. “The way your pussy is gripping my cock like a hungry boa constrictor…fuck, Sparky.”

“Feels like…I’m…being choked by one.”

His eyes me with concern once more. “You said you were okay.”

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