Page 21 of Trip Through Your Wires

And third, what we did stayed a secret. There was no reason to get our friends excited about something that was never going to happen. We could be Uncle Jake and Aunt Jenica without everyone knowing we used to hook up in college.

“Jen?” Ellery says my name.

My eyes whip up and meet hers in the mirror’s reflection. “Yeah?”

“Where’d you go just now?”

“No where.”

“Uh-huh.” The way she says it, tells me she believes that about as much as she does Elvis is still alive.

“Well, if you must know,” I take a dramatic breath and let it out slowly, “I was thinking about how I hate to disappoint you.”

“Disappoint me?” she repeats. “About what?”

“Having to tell you there is not, nor will there ever be, anything going on with Jake and I because as I’ve said probably a hundred times before, we’re just friends.”

“He could be more,” she smiles suggestively. “I mean, the fact he is a friend, speaks volumes.”

I cross my arms, knowing I am going to regret this. “Meaning?”

“Meaning, you don’t friend easily. And you two have more in common than you want to admit.”

She’s right, I don’t friend easily. I don’t trust easily or let people in. Being born and raised in a town like Cherry Cove, you learn early not to trust anyone further than you can throw them. Except for family. Family, I would do anything to protect.

Ellery had been the exception to this rule. The moment I met her I knew I could trust her and because I did, that meant Cruz as well. I made another exception to my rule with Jake, but he’d earned it after all the shit that went down last summer. The four of us were like family and I would do anything for them.

“Well,” she drawls, “I hate to burst your bubble, but the fact you came here a day early when you thought trouble was brewing and didn’t call me, your best friend, but him, your friend,” she air quotes, “tells me you think of him as more than that.”

Again, she’s got me. I did call Jake and not her when I changed my flight after learning about the body that washed onto shore back in Cherry Cove, but there was a reason. The same one that had me calling him in the middle of the night when the ring of gunshot reverberated in my dreams.

I felt safe with Jake. He was patient and kind and let me feel all the things I did as I went through the stages one might go through after killing a person. He saw me stripped down to my core, with nothing but shock and fear in my veins, and he didn’t run. He stayed with me that first night, and every night after, sleeping on the couch in his room so I would know that I was safe. And it was through his steadfastness I found myself confiding in him, the things I could not tell my best friend.

It wasn’t that I didn’t think Ellery would understand what I was feeling. It was that she too had scars from that night that ran bone deep. If I were having a hard time processing everything that happened, I could only imagine what she was going through. I couldn’t put my shit on her, so Jake told me to put it on him, and I did.

Then, when I needed to feel something other than fear, I let him in and he gave me that too. He kissed me the way he did that night at the cave, making the world fall away, and when he touched me I didn’t feel numb anymore. I felt alive again and I needed that—I needed him. Just like I did today when the idea of the past coming back to haunt us came knocking.

“Come on, Jen,” Ellery sighs, pulling me from the thought. “You like him. I know you do. You just don’t want to admit it.”

“Oh really, Phil Donahue? And why is that?”

“Because he doesn’t fit your rule,” she says, matching my stance. “Your whole, I only date rockstars thing. But you know, sometimes you can’t help it. Sometimes, who we are drawn to is totally out of our control. And you could do a lot worse than Jake. I mean, he’s gorgeous, smart, nice, and has one hell of a career ahead of him.”

“Okay,” I hold up my hands. “You got me. I like him.” Her eyes widen but I continue before she can spin into the ether. “As a friend,” I say with emphasis.

“Oh, come on Jen. It’s me,” she whines. “I’ve watched you two dance around one another for months. Not to mention, your chemistry is off the charts. So just admit you like him and put me out of my misery already.”

“I can’t tell you something that’s not true,” I shrug. “We’re friends, nothing more. Sorry.”

“But why?” She stomps her foot like a child. “You two are practically made for each other. Just like Cruz and I.”

“Listen Miss Happily Ever After. You and Cruz are different. You fell for each other long before he was going to be a star.”

“Not true,” she shakes her head. “Baseball was his first love. It has always been a part of his life.”

“That may be,” I nod. “But you are the love of his life. He was never just a ballplayer. He was always yours.”

“Always a ball player,” she leans in and winks. “Sound familiar?”

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