Page 190 of Emerald Malice

“You already apologized for that.”

“It wasn’t nearly enough. I told you I would protect you, and when you needed me most, I wasn’t there.”

“You have a Bratva to lead,” she offers. “You have hundreds of men fighting for you. I know I can’t always be the priority.”

It tears me apart to hear her say that. Because the truth is, she should be the priority. Every fucking time. The fact that she thinks otherwise is on me.

But considering our circumstances, that reality is no longer an option.

I have to push her away in order to protect her.

She has to leave me behind in order to protect our child.

I grit my teeth and force the lie out. “I have to focus all my efforts on Slavik and Viktor now. That means I won’t be around very much.”

She looks like she’s battling tears but when she looks at me, her eyes are dry. “I figured.”

“I won’t be coming to the pool house at night, either. So, if you want to lock your doors, you should.”

She swallows as something ripples across her eyes. “I understand.”

Slowly, I rise to my feet. She watches my movements, but she doesn’t mimic them. And fucking hell, this moment is harder than it ever should’ve been.

I can’t say goodbye to her properly. I can’t reassure her the way I want to. In the absence of all the things I can’t say to her, I give her one last promise.

“I’m going to make sure your aunt is safe and protected, Natalia. No one will ever hurt her again. You have my word.”

Her lips tremble, her eyes turn watery, but still, she doesn’t shed a tear. “I know that, too, Andrey.”

69

NATALIA

The moment Andrey is out of sight, I crumble.

I sob like a baby, curled up on the deck chair. I wrap my arms tightly around my shivering body, afraid I’ll fall to literal pieces.

I want to call Andrey back so he can hold me. I want to talk to Mila and Katya, to try to feel even an ounce of the hope they seem to have that everything will be okay.

But I can’t. I have to do this alone.

I haven’t even left yet and already, I’m so unbearably lonely.

The sound of approaching footsteps has me darting upright and wiping the tears hastily from my face.

Of all the people I imagine might be coming, Yelena is the last person I expect to see mounting the steep steps with muffled complaints.

She heaves to a stop in front of me, squinting down at my face. I may have wiped away my tears but I can feel how red and puffy my eyes are. I won’t fool her.

“Are you okay, dorogoya?

I shrug. “As okay as can be expected.”

She claims the pool chair next to mine. Her arthritic old fingers cup my knee as she offers me a sad, sympathetic smile. “Everything’s alright now. Your aunt and your friends are safe. And you’re home again.”

“Slavik, Viktor, and Nikolai are still out there,” I point out. “And they’re coming for me, Yelena. I can feel it in my bones. If not me, they’ll want my baby.”

I think about the way Nikolai looked at my stomach. Like it was something evil and unholy growing inside of me. Not a baby, but a beast. Something to be slaughtered before it grew too big to be controlled.

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