Page 51 of Emerald Vices

She covers her notebook. “You shouldn’t spy on other people’s journals. I didn’t know I was writing that big.”

“Hey!”

Evangeline just winks at me with a laugh. “Natalia, it’s perfectly normal to be confused about your relationship with Andrey. After all, the two of you have never actually had a conversation about what you both want.”

“Sex, mostly.” She arches her eyebrows and immediately, I blush. “That was a joke.”

“Jokes can be used to deflect serious topics.” She adjusts her glasses on the bridge of her nose. “They can also be a very effective coping mechanism—a form of self-preservation.”

“And what, in your professional opinion, do you think I’m trying to preserve?”

“Your heart, for one,” she suggests.

I cringe. Well, that’s what I get for asking.

I wait for Evangeline to offer up more professional observations, but she just leans into the silence, letting the room get real weird and awkward.

“I don’t really have anything to say,” I finally mumble.

She cocks her head to the side. “Nothing at all?”

“I have a few more jokes, but I’m afraid you’ll accuse me of using humor to deflect my internal heartbreak again.”

More silence.

More weirdness.

“I’m not heartbroken over Andrey, okay? I’m just frustrated.”

“And why do you think you’re so frustrated with him?”

“Um, hello?” I point at my belly. “He knocked me up, for one. Then he forced me to move into his pool house. Now, I can’t even sneeze without four huge bodyguards perking up. I can’t breathe! It feels like he’s suffocating me.”

“He’s suffocating you?” Evangeline inquires. “Or the situation is?”

“Is there even a difference?”

“Maybe, maybe not. You tell me.”

I grimace. Honestly, what’s the point of a damn shrink if I have to do all the work myself? “I don’t know, okay? Maybe I’m too broken to figure it out.”

Evangeline snaps her notepad shut and sets it down. “Okay. Let’s start with a simple question then. Do you have feelings for Andrey?”

The sad part is, I don’t even have to think about my answer. “Yes.”

“Are you in love with him?”

Yes. Duh. “I don’t know.”

Evangeline nods. “Is it possible that you’re scared to love him?”

“Can you blame me if I am?” I explode. “The man has no idea who I am or what I want! And that’s after I’ve told him exactly what I want.”

“Maybe he’s trying.”

I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Did he pay you to say that? The man has everyone under his thumb, I swear.”

“No, you told me when you mentioned that he was moving your aunt into the manor. It sounds like he’s trying to me.”

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