Page 62 of The Undercover Billionaire's Baby

Dad glanced up and laughed. “What’s the matter? You two on the outs?”

“It’s a baby.” I stood up, then sat down again. “Less than nine months from now, I’ll be a father. I’ll be waist-deep in diapers. My whole life will change. And Lana… I don’t know if she even likes me. I swore I’d be there for her, then I let work take over. I practically ghosted her. I left her alone.”

Dad chuckled. “She’ll get used to it.” He leaned back in his chair. “You’ll get her a nanny and a house in the country, put a ring on her finger, and she’ll be happy. You’ll see, you’ll love it. You’ll drive out on weekends. She’ll have your kid ready. Excited to see you.”

A strange sound broke out of me, half-laugh, half-shout. In my head, I was five again, in my first suit, my hair slicked down neat, my nails brushed and trimmed. Waiting in the front window for Dad’s car in the drive. Sometimes I’d sit there and wait half the day, my suit slowly wrinkling as I wriggled around.

“I don’t want that,” I croaked.

“What, to get married? That’s a little more complicated, but our lawyers will?—”

“That life.” I stood up so fast my chair nearly toppled. “I don’t want to be that kind of father. Or that kind of husband. That kind of man. I don’t want my kid asking ‘when’s Dad coming home,’ and Lana having to say to him, ‘soon, sweetie, soon.’ I don’t want him at boarding school and coming home for his break, and finding out Mom’s gone, and you never said. Didn’t it occur to you I’d want to say goodbye? Did you even— Her funeral… Who’d you invite? Did you have those chrysanthemums she loved from the garden?”

“Peonies,” said Dad. “And yes. We had those.”

“But you didn’t have me. Don’t you know how that felt?”

Dad fixed me with a blank look. “I did the best I could. What I thought was right. If you think you can do better, go on and try. But take it from me, you can’t have it all. Women are learning now what we’ve always known, there’s work life and home life, and you get to pick one. You try to do both, you won’t shine at either.”

“You’re wrong,” I said. “And it’s sad, because you’ll never see it. But I saw in Haverford what we never had. Families, real families. Living real lives. I don’t want my kids waiting all day for their father. Waiting a lifetime to hear me say I’m proud of them.”

“I’ve always told you?—”

“You haven’t. Not once.”

“I’ve shown you. I’ve given you all that I had.” He flung out his arms, gesturing wide. I shook my head, pushed my chair in, and plucked off my headset.

“I don’t want it,” I said. “I never did. I did all this for you, and I’m a fool for not seeing it.”

“Sam—”

I dropped my headset on the table. “It’s over. I’m done.”

I thought Dad would follow me when I stormed out, but when I glanced back, he hadn’t even got up. He had his phone out already, squinting down at the screen. The fog had gone from my head and just one thought remained: I had to find Lana. I had to make this right.

I couldn’t keep her waiting even one second more.

CHAPTER 25

LANA

The car wouldn’t start.

The engine caught, revved, then sputtered out. I tried again, cursed, smacked my hands on the wheel. Alice had warned me, her car could be fickle. She’d said what to do, but I hadn’t been listening. All I’d been thinking of was getting to Sam. I’d thought he’d come through for me. I really had. Not in the sense he’d take me in his arms and tell me he loved me, but in the sense he’d know what to do.

This is a good thing, I’d pictured him saying. We’re a family now. We always will be. We don’t have to be together for that to be true.

And maybe part of me had dreamed he’d want us together. Maybe I had pictured the white picket fence. Was that so insane, that we might at least try? Instead, I’d got uhhhh, can you come back in an hour?

No. No, I couldn’t. I gunned the engine again. This time, it roared, and I thought I was good. Then it made a weird whirring sound and went kaput. I brought my fist down smack on the horn, blasting it so loud I jumped up and screamed. My elbow flew out and banged on the door, right on my funny bone. I grabbed it and groaned. Couldn’t one thing go right? Just one damn thing?

Someone tapped on my window. I whirled, then froze. The breath all went out of me in a sudden, sharp rush.

“Sam?”

He gestured for me to roll down my window. I reached out to do it, then let my hand drop. Sam had let me down today, and that was on him. If I gave him another chance, that was on me. I’d given him every chance, and he’d blown them all.

“Lana, please!” He tapped again, frantic, and I shook my head. If my car would’ve started I’d have peeled out. Run over his foot, maybe. A taste of how I felt.

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