Page 50 of Shadows of Justice

“Just thinking about the Dogs,” I lie. “We should talk about a plan.” I shake out of his hold and his brow furrows.

“You don’t think we should talk about us?”

That’s exactly what I want to talk about. But whatever he’s thinking, whether it’s to try to make this work or that this one sexual encounter is all we’re ever going to be—both terrify me more than a mutilated dog on my front steps.

I clear my throat and take a deep breath, pulling the blanket closer around me.

“I think that we’re running very low on time, and we need to come up with the next step,” I say, by way of answering. Leo studies me closely, but thankfully he drops the subject and turns from me to walk toward a mini fridge by the desk.

He reaches in and pulls out two silver cans, offering one to me. I take it and look at the label and have to suppress a laugh.

Barq’s Root Beer.

“Interesting choice,” I say, my lips twitching. Leo looks at me like I’ve sprouted blue hair.

“Root beer is the only choice,” he says with conviction, popping the top of his can. “It’s delicious.” I try not to laugh as I watch him take a long swig and then sigh with a contented ahh.

Another lock of hair.

Another nail in my coffin.

I turn from him, needing space. My skin feels clammy all of a sudden, the walls of the room feeling far too close together. He’s watching me, and I can tell that he knows something is wrong, but bless him, he doesn’t press.

I wander through the equipment, the worktable between us, and force myself to meet his gaze.

“You were right,” I say. “We need backup for The Roost. I’m going to go to Jennings with everything I’ve got first thing in the morning. I’ll bring Carlos in too, and maybe with him in my corner, I’ll get Cap in the right place to listen.”

Leo lets out a breath. He’s so relieved, and so am I—at how good I’ve gotten at lying.

“I’m so glad to hear you say that, Viv,” he says, cracking my chest open just a little bit more. “You had me terrified last night.”

He comes around the side of the table hesitantly. I can tell he wants to embrace me, but is afraid he’ll push me too far. I reach for him, placing the blanket over the piles of equipment. He takes me in his arms and holds on tight, like he’s afraid that I’ll disappear into thin air if he lets go.

He doesn’t notice the specific equipment I’ve placed the blanket on top of.

Just like he doesn’t notice me wipe the tears that fall at the sincerity behind his kiss, or his cherishing touch, all of it making my heart tip over the edge and settle into a very dangerous place.

He also doesn’t notice me bundle the camera-laden crucifix and the small, flesh-colored earpieces from the worktable inside of the blanket after he makes love to me on the computer desk.

Sated and sweating, he carries me and my wrapped secrets back to the bed. He kisses me reverently, every inch of my body, like he doesn’t want to miss a spot. He falls asleep with his head on my stomach as I sift my fingers through his dark hair. His breathing deepens, slows, and eventually I manage to wriggle out from underneath him without waking him.

I dress quietly, and slip out of the house without detection. I get in my car, but before I turn it on, I do what I’ve been dying to do, now that I have privacy.

I pull up Google translate on my phone and plug in the phrase that’s now tattooed on my heart, curtesy of my fallen angel.

My eyes take in the translated words, again, and then a third time, hoping that with each reread they won’t feel quite as heavy. Quite as petrifying. Quite as good. But, they do.

I pull out of the driveway and drive home faster than I’ve ever driven, not sure if I’m in a hurry over the lack of time for my plan, or to put as much distance in between Leo and I as possible.

Meanwhile, all I can see are the words on my phone screen.

They might as well be etched on my tombstone, because I’ve got one foot in the grave.

My Soul, you will be my end.

Chapter Sixteen - The Only Way

Friday, July 24th

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