Page 65 of The Trophy

Something flickers in Cash’s gray eyes. “Is that what’s worrying you? What will happen to me and you if I go to Bridgeport before the academic year ends or after summer break?”

I don’t have to say it out loud, Cash sees the answer in my gaze.

“Lake,” he says with that low, soft tone again. “Is it me that you want? Is that why you’re worried about me moving away?”

He’s speaking to me the way you speak to a wounded animal. Gentle, careful not to spook me.

I feel so selfish right now. More so because even though I have feelings for Cash, I haven’t made my choice.

This is the time to tell him that Luca and Blaze are willing to see if our relationship can work without making me choose. Cash deserves to know where my heart is, even if that might be a deal breaker for him.

“I do want you,” I say. “But I haven’t made a choice. I don’t know if I can. You’re very different from one another, but I care about each of you equally. No matter how hard I try to figure it out, just the idea of losing one of you, breaks my heart. It’s too much to even think about it.”

There’s a beat of silence between us, Cash’s gray eyes are fixed on mine the entire time.

“Have you told Blaze and Luca how you feel?” he finally asks.

“I have. They say they can try to see if we can work out together. All four of us.”

Cash runs a hand through his dirty blond hair. “So is that what you want? Keep seeing all three of us? Long term? You aren’t going to choose?”

I need to be brave and be totally honest with him. “The only way I would be forced to stop seeing one of you, is if you walked away. But no, I can’t choose.”

I’m shocked when Cash reacts to my words with a chuckle. “Damn. That might be the way out of that stupid dare. If you don’t choose, the team will have to choose their captain based on who they think is the best leader, just like Coach intended.”

Have I understood the meaning of what he’s saying, or is my wishful thinking making me grossly misunderstand his words?

“So you aren’t walking away?”

He laughs, pulling me closer, until I’m sitting on his lap. “Fuck me, I guess I’m not. I like you too much to even think about letting you go, Lake. I know if I did, I’d regret it forever. That doesn’t mean things are going to be easier between us though.”

He laces his fingers through mine.

“Because you might go to Bridgeport?” I ask.

Cash exhales slowly, his expression suddenly very serious. “It isn’t just that, baby. If things work out with the Bridgeport Warriors, I’ll be three hours away. It isn’t super close but it’s doable while you finish college. It’s a long drive, but money won’t be an issue and if I can’t make the drive to Star Cove, I’ll get you a train ticket or a taxi or buy you a car, anything so we can be together. I’d be on the road a lot anyway, that’s something you have to accept if you want to be with a professional hockey player. Plus, my family is here, so until you’re in school, I’d have a double reason to come home. If things have to work between us in the long term, I’d have to ask you to consider looking for a job wherever I play. What about Blaze and Luca, though? Potentially, they could end up in Florida, or in Canada. If we’re all far from each other, how do we navigate this relationship?”

I feel my whole world crumbling apart at Cash’s words.

I hadn’t thought about it. I wonder if Luca and Blaze had.

“I—I don’t know.”

Cash’s expression softens. “Look baby, there’s no reason to worry about it now. I’m not gonna lie to you, I don’t know if this sharing thing will work anyway. I’m not the sharing type.”

I steel myself to swallow the tears that are burning again in my eyes. “So you are walking away?”

He shakes his head. “I didn’t say that. I don’t know. If it was anyone else, I have no doubt I’d wish you a nice life and just take myself out of this equation. But I care about you, Lake. I can see myself falling for you. What I need to understand is if I can accept that you’re falling for two other guys too. I’m ok to see where this goes. And why not, fucking with Topher in the process sounds too much fun to pass up. Like the question about where we’ll live, we need time to figure out if we can work this way. I don’t know if we can coexist without jealousy destroying everything.”

That’s fair.

“So you’re willing to try?”

He nods. “Fuck me, I guess I am. Let me talk to Blaze and Luca about it too. We probably need some sort of ground rules to avoid arguing the same way we did in the locker room the other day. If we hadn’t, Topher wouldn’t have pounced on us with the idea of the dare.”

There are so many challenges ahead of us, from Topher to where the guys’ careers might take us. But for just a moment tonight, I don’t want to think about hockey, fraternities or even Bay’s relationship. All I want right here and now is to get close to this handsome man, who is willing to take a leap of faith and challenge his own possessive nature just to make me happy.

CHAPTER 13

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