Page 71 of Chasing Lynda

Her gray eyes are so similar to her brother’s and for a second I observe how they have the exact same shade of blonde hair and similar facial features, even if Callie’s are softer and more feminine. “Bennett likes you too. He’s really into you, you know that, right?”

That’s when I realize it. “You like Bennett, don’t you?” I ask, before I can think better of it.

She lowers her gaze, her shoulders slump ever so slightly before she admits it. “Yeah. I’ve been in love with Bennett since I can remember.”

My heart skips a beat. I know those kinds of feelings because I felt them for years with Kelley. “Does Bennett know how you feel? Because if he doesn’t, I don’t want to—”

“He knows,” she says so quietly that I almost miss it. “I told him when we were sixteen. He doesn’t feel the same. He loves me but not the way I want. He feels the same way Dodge feels about me. I’m like a little sister to all four of them.”

Shit.

She really is in a similar situation to me and Kelley. My heart hurts for her because I know how it feels to love someone who doesn’t even see you that way. “Are you sure things haven’t changed for him? Sixteen was a long time ago,” I say.

Callie laughs, but there’s no mirth in it; it’s a bitter, sad sound. “No, nothing has changed. Trust me.”

I can feel her pain and while I really like Bennett, I’d hate to come between them, if there’s a chance he might reciprocate her feelings. “Are you sure? Look Callie, Bennett asked me out and I like him too, but I don’t want to be the reason why—”

She shakes her blond head in a gesture I’ve seen Dodge doing several times. “I’m positive that his feelings haven’t changed.”

I set down the pile of clothes she gave me and sit on the ottoman at the end of her four-poster bed. “How do you know? Guys aren’t as expressive as we are with feelings. God knows I was caught in a similar situation with someone for years.”

Callie sits down next to me but doesn’t meet my eyes when she explains. “A few months ago, he took me home after a party. He was my ride home. I had a lot to drink and I tried to kiss him. He rejected me, telling me to go to bed and I invited him to come to bed with me. I took my clothes off. I told him that I loved him and that I wanted him to be my first. He was horrified. He walked away. He went to the kitchen and came back with some toast to help me sober up. He made sure that I put some clothes on. He told me again that he loves me like a sister. It was the worst night of my life. I got to sleep in his arms, but not the way I wanted. He just stayed with me because he didn’t want to leave me alone in that state.” She looks at me, before issuing her warning. “So, I’m not asking you stay away from Bennett on my account. But you’ve fucked my brother, Lynda. Dodge and Bennett are more than best friends. The four of them are more like brothers; to the point that when we were younger, I used to resent them because Dodge used spend more time with them than with me. He let me tag along just to get Mom off his back. What I’m trying to say is that if you play games with them and cause problems, I’m going to make you regret you ever crossed paths with any of us.”

Her tone is hard but I absolutely respect her position. “Callie, I swear this isn’t what’s going on. I just met the guys and things were such that I kinda hung out with each of them. I talked to each of them and I didn’t lie about the fact that I find them all attractive. They surprised me because they didn’t get mad. I think they took it like a challenge of some kind. They said we can keep hanging out and getting to know each other and when I choose one of them, there won’t be any hard feelings.”

Callie seems to relax. “Fuck. That’s ... different. So is it like a competition and you’re the prize?”

I squirm a little bit under her gaze. “I guess? I don’t know, it isn’t a game or at least I don’t think so ...” I immediately think about the kind of game Kelley and his friends used to play all the time. Dodge and the others never talked about points or anything like that. “I think they all like me and rather than fight with each other over who gets to date me, they all want to until I decide who’s the one.”

Callie runs a hand through her blonde hair. “So no one is lying to each other. I guess the guys learned something after Chrissie. Look, I know the guys look all bold and confident but they’re all sensitive and way easier to hurt than you think, beneath their hard exteriors. I love each of them more than I can express with words. Please, let them down gently when you choose. Especially if you don’t choose Dodge.”

I don’t know what to say. I like and respect the way she’s looking out for her friends and her twin brother. “I—sure. But we literally just met a couple of days ago. I don’t think there’s any feelings involved just yet.”

She sighs. “Feelings are a weird thing, Lynda. I’m not saying they’re desperately in love with you, but trust me, they must see something special in you. They’ve always been popular with girls and had their fair share of hookups but they’ve never brought anyone home before you. Aside from Chrissie, but we all grew up together and our families have always been close.”

God knows I have a hard time trusting people; but like the guys, I have the feeling that Callie is genuine and doesn’t play games, I like her. “I’ll be careful, I promise,” I say, and then I almost tell her my whole story, watching my tongue only at the end. “To be honest, I don’t know how long I’ll be around. I stuck around Bridgeport because of the guys but I had just arrived in town and I really have nowhere to go.”

“What do you mean, you have nowhere to go? Do you go to school? Do you live with your parents or roommates?”

My defenses are lowered right now, I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the shock of last night; the sex with Dodge and then the fire, but I tell her more than I even told the guys.

“I got out of a bad relationship, but it was someone my parents approved to the point of pushing my ex on me. I went along with it because ... my parents have always been strict and earning their approval was always hard ...” I don’t mention the church and all the crazy rules that were imposed on me and the other women. When I think about all that, I can’t help but feel deeply ashamed that I let it all happen. That I thought I could sneak through the cracks and fly under the radar until I eventually earned my freedom. I should’ve done what Ausra did, but really, I had nowhere to go. “My ex turned out to be controlling, manipulating and downright scary. He did things to me that—”

She covers her mouth with one hand, probably guessing what I’m not ready to put into words. “Oh, Lynda!” Her eyes look shiny with tears and I inhale sharply, because I don’t want to cry. I’ve cried all my tears and I refuse to cry anymore. I need to stay strong, if I have a chance in hell to survive on my own.

“It’s ok, Callie,” I say with a determination I don’t really feel. Fake it till you make it, right? It’s the only way I’ve been able to survive, hoping that one day Aaron will get tired of looking for me; or even more than that, hoping that he does something so shady that not even his bribes and his connections in high places can save his ass. But I know how far the church’s influence can reach, if they managed to hide Harold’s murder.

Callie shows me to my room and I’m not surprised to see that it’s even more luxurious than the one I was given at the hotel.

A California king size bed dominates the room, a living area at one end with a plush couch and a coffee table ensconced at the opposite end near a full-length window. All the upholstery is in the tones of blues and greens, reminding me of the sea that’s visible from the windows.

I change into a bikini and a white, gauzy coverall that probably cost more than most people’s average monthly salary and step into a pair of flip flops that are a little too big for me.

I check my reflection in the mirror of the en-suite bathroom, not surprised in the slightest about the dark circles under my eyes; between the club, the time with Dodge and the fire, I got a couple of hours sleep at best.

But my eyes are shiny in a way they haven’t been since I was forced to enter that compound. I might not be free, but since I met the guys, I haven’t felt as alone as I was in the past year. I know it’s all an illusion and that on Tuesday I’ll have to go back to my reality of running and hiding in plain sight.

I brush my hair with a brush I find on the marble countertop of the bathroom, sighing at the girl in the mirror; I want to enjoy the time I have with them, for as short as it might need to be. This house is secluded on the hills right at the edge of town, far away from the hustling and bustling of downtown Bridgeport with the college campus and the busy area of the boardwalk and the resort type establishments by the beach. Here it’s all private beaches and big mansions, reminding me a little bit of Ashton’s house in Shell Cove. Here I can’t run into someone from the church or be spotted by a stranger who remembers my face from the flyers that are still circulating all over Northern California. I’m safe here and for a few days, I can relatively relax. The trick is not to think about what’s waiting for me when I’ll inevitably have to leave.

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