Page 43 of Chasing Lynda

I shake my head. “No. You got here in time. I don’t know what he would’ve tried if you hadn’t. I—”

Zane intervenes. It’s the first time he actually talks to me after I ditched him last night. “Are you sure that you’re ok? We came here to pick you up to go to the party, but if you don’t feel up to it, we can order you dinner and you can just relax in your room. We can hang out with you, or leave you alone if you prefer.”

I immediately regret the tone of my response to what’s obviously just Zane trying to be considerate. “I’m ok, Zane! I wish you’d stop making decisions for me! Like last night, when you wouldn’t kiss me because of what happened to me.” I snap.

Zane recoils as if I’d physically stricken him. “I’m sorry, Lynda. I didn’t mean to do that, I just—”

The look of contrition in his green eyes makes me immediately regret my outburst. “I’m sorry, Zane. I didn’t mean to take my baggage out on you. It’s just that I’ve had people taking my choices away from me my entire life. Often under the guise of doing what was best for me. My opinion, what I fucking wanted, never mattered. As it is, I think I owe you an apology for how I left you last night.”

Zane’s gaze softens. “No apology necessary. Maybe I was too pushy by inviting you to come to my room. I know what you’ve been through but I like you so much and I wasn’t really thinking. Or more likely, I was thinking with my dick.”

I sigh. “That’s exactly the problem. It isn’t up to you to worry about something like that. You asked and gave me a choice. I really wanted to come to your room by the way, I just—”

His eyes darken at my words. “You wanted to?”

I nod. “Totally. But after our dinner and the ... time we spent together, I—I had kissed Carter a few hours earlier and—I don’t know. I’ve just got here; I wasn’t even sure for how long I’d stick around. I didn’t have money to stay at the hotel, the summer is about to start, and everything is more expensive during high season. So I thought that it’d be easier to just move on. I’m sorry, I’ve never been the one night stand kind of girl and I panicked.”

To my surprise, not only Zane isn’t mad that I kissed two of his friends, but Bennett asks me a question. “Would you like to stick around if money wasn’t a problem? We can always use some extra staff during high season.”

I don’t answer him, panicking about the fact that I really want to stay but I can’t use my social security number; just in case Aaron has a way to monitor it. I’m frantically searching for an excuse, when Bennett puts me out of my misery. “Just think about it, Lynda. You don’t have to decide tonight. Actually, you’ve won two nights at the hotel, so let’s enjoy the weekend and we’ll talk about it on Monday morning?”

I readily agree, relieved that I can spend one weekend of fun with Bennett, Zane and their friends and then be on my way to wherever is next. Hopefully somewhere where no one has ever heard about the Church of the Higher Self.

11.

Dance With Me

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Lynda

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AFTER WE LEAVE THE indoor pool, Bennett and Zane usher me into an elevator and no one speaks during the short ride to the top of the building.

I observe the two men as I’m standing between their tall, athletic frames. I don’t even know what I’m thinking, I’m just relieved that the sleazy resort manager is gone and excited at the idea of spending a weekend with them. Of having a normal life, where I don’t need to fight for survival and I don’t need to watch over my shoulder every second of every day.

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