Page 29 of Chasing Lynda

Zane is handsome but when he smiles, my heart picks up its pace. “Hmm, someone is confident ...” I laugh.

His next question takes me by surprise. “I don’t want tonight to be over yet, Lynda. Do you want to come to my room?”

The offer is really tempting. “You asked the last question earlier. It should be my turn.” I tease him.

He takes it like the stalling tactic that it really is. “Lynda, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want. We can just watch movies and hang out. But if you prefer to go home, I can drive you and I swear I’ll leave after a goodnight kiss and the promise to see you again soon. Hopefully tomorrow?”

And that’s what breaks the spell. I want to see Zane again. And Carter. But how is that possible? It’s not even the fact that of all the hot guys in Bridgeport, I went and kissed two best friends. How will they react when they find out that the girl they’ve been hooking up with hasn’t got a home? That I’ve been squatting in one of the cabanas of the resort owned by their friend? Even better, that I stole clothes from one of their paying customers.

My heart breaks with the awareness that despite what Zane wants and what I want, it’s better to put an end to this night right now.

It’s probably for the best anyway, since I opened up way too much with him about my past.

“So? Do you want to come to my room or do you prefer it if I take you home?”

The answer is on the tip of my tongue. I want to go to his room; I want to know how it feels to be in the arms of someone who wants me and that I want back. Someone who doesn’t want to own me and use me but just be with me and get to know me. Someone who respects my wishes and gives me the option to say “no.”

I want my body to belong to someone because I choose to give it freely.

But I also know that if I follow Zane to his room, if I allow myself to spend more time in his arms, leaving will be harder and more painful tomorrow. “I can come to your room, but I really need to use the bathroom. I don’t think I’ll make it to the hotel though.”

He offers me his hand and I take it, trying hard to stop the tremor in my own at the thought that I’m about to ditch him. “The closest bathrooms are the ones for the beach guests. Let’s go.”

I feel relieved, that’s exactly where I hoped he’d want to go. I smile, letting my eyes skim all over his handsome face and fit body. I’ll remember this night for a long time and I want to commit his looks to memory. “See you in a minute, Zane.”

I quickly enter the ladies section of the public bathroom and leave from the exit at the other side of the building. I’m careful not to make any noise, taking my flip flops off as my feet touch the cool sand and I run toward the last row of cabanas.

I feel twice as guilty at the idea of sleeping here again, but it’s late and after last night, the beach isn’t an option; aside from the fact that I don’t want him to find me.

I blow up the inflatable beach bed and lie down on it, knowing that this is my last night in here. I have no idea where I’ll sleep tomorrow night, but that’s a problem for future Lynda.

For the first time in forever, my last thought before sleep takes me under isn’t Kelley. Carter’s intense blue eyes and Zane’s smile are the images burned on the inside of my eyelids.

8.

Miss Wet T-shirt

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