Page 2 of Chasing Lynda

She takes a shuddering breath and then smooths one hand over her long blonde hair in her typical nervous gesture. She always touches her hair when she’s about to say or do something she knows will be unpleasant. “Mitch is right, honey,” she utters. “I—I’ve been meaning to sit down with you and talk. You know I love you and I always will, Dodge. But I’m not in love with you. I haven’t been for a long time now.”

Carter’s voice comes from behind me and I turn to see my other three best friends standing behind me. They form a defense line behind me, like they often did on the field. “That’s some bullshit right there, Christine. The lame ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ line could’ve made sense if you hadn’t been fucking Mitch. Come on, I’ve always thought that you were a bitch, but Mitch? You surely could do way better than him!”

It’s never been a mystery that Chrissie and Carter don’t like each other. So I’m not surprised by the venom in her voice.

“Butt out, Carter! Just go have fun in a jerk circle with your other two asshole besties or something and let the fucking adults talk.”

Ok, so she never liked Zane and Bennett either and I know for a fact that it’s completely mutual.

Zane shakes his head, his lip quirking up in a sardonic smile. “Aww, do you think that your crass, homophobic insults hit close to home? I have nothing against gay brothers. It doesn’t matter to me if you like dick or pussy, as long as you don’t act like either of those things. And you Cri-Cri? You’re both! You’re a dick for cheating on Dodge and a fucking pussy for not having the balls to break it off with him.”

His tone is full of spite.

I’m about to intervene when Bennett shakes his head. His voice is dripping with distaste. “What I really don’t get, Chrissie, is why you’re still with Dodge when it’s clear that you’re over him and you’ve been over him for the past few months.” He looks at me, his eyes darkening as he confesses what’s obviously been eating at him. “A few weeks ago, she came into my room. Drunk AF and she threw herself at me. I walked her back to her sorority house. I chalked it up to being intoxicated but I guess I was wrong.” He looks at my fiancée before adding, “What I don’t get is why be with him if you clearly don’t love him. Also ... Mitch? Honestly you couldn’t have found a worse douche bag if you looked in the entire fucking school.”

At Bennett’s question, everything goes to shit.

I watch in horror as Chrissie takes off the large diamond ring on her finger, that has been in my family for generations.

She takes a step toward me and places it in my open palm. “I can’t do this, Dodge. I’m sorry. I thought I could but it turns out that the life I thought we would have after college is all an illusion. You’re obviously not going to get drafted into the NFL like you thought, because your shoulder is shot. I know our parents will be disappointed but ...”

She inhales deeply, as if trying to keep from crying. “I don’t think you love me like you say you do either.”

Panic constricts my throat and against my best judgment, I beg her. I don’t even know how the fuck I got here in this room, begging a woman I don’t love to marry me. A woman who I just found in bed with someone else. “Cri-Cri,” I say, using the old childhood nickname. “Please let’s calm down and talk about this. You know I love you—”

“Do you?” she snaps. “Really? You could’ve fooled me, Dodge. You haven’t touched me in months. Why the hell do you still want to marry me if you aren’t even attracted to me anymore?”

The excuse on the tip of my tongue comes out before I can think about something better to say. “It’s not you, Cri, it’s me. Since I fucked up my shoulder, I’ve been in a lot of pain. I don’t—”

She shakes her blonde head and her voice sounds sad rather than angry. “That’s bullshit and you know it. The few times I fell asleep in your bed after you turned me down lately, I know you’ve been jerking off in the bathroom in the middle of the night. I’m a light sleeper, Dodge. So whatever is wrong with you, you need to sort it out; but you need to do it without me. I’m sorry about Mitch, but he’s been there for me through all of this. Because you might think that I’m a heartless skank, but I care about you. And it’s not like we haven’t had an open relationship before, right?”

I don’t know what the fuck to say. I need her to marry me but I also know that I’d be setting both of us up for unhappiness if I insisted on it.

It’s just that I don’t know what else to do at this point. “So that’s it?” I say bitterly. “We’re over?”

She holds my gaze for a long moment, before taking Mitch’s hand into hers. “Yeah, sweetie. I’m so sorry. I hope that in a while, once enough time has passed, we can still be friends. I’ll always care about you, Dodge. Let’s go, Mitch. The sex made me hungry, I need you to buy me dinner.”

I know it’s going to be short-lived, but a wave of relief floods me as she walks out of the Gamma house with Mitch in tow.

The guys are all looking at me and from the varying degrees of astonishment on their faces, I know that they have questions.

Carter is the first one to ask. “What the fuck was that, dude? I didn’t understand why you were still with Chrissie to begin with but after today? Why did you just beg her to stay with you? Are you really in love with her?”

Zane’s smirk matches his sarcastic tone but the concern in his eyes is unmistakable. “The only thing I can think of is that they stuffed you so full of painkillers at the hospital, that you’re still as high as a fucking kite. Because I don’t know about you, but after she let Mitch stick his dick in her ... yuck!”

I don’t fucking blame him. That part of the equation definitely has me relieved.

I know I have to explain and I know the guys won’t like it, but I can’t do it here.

I feel the four walls of the Gamma house closing in on me and I need air. I can’t believe I’ve called this place home for four years.

“I need to get out of here,” I say, opening the liquor cabinet and grabbing the first two bottles that look full. These are glass at least, so hopefully better than the shitty vodka I just had.

Bennett grins at me, taking one of the bottles out of my hands. “Do you need a straw, bro?”

I bark out a shaky laugh. “Nah, fuck the straw!” I say, opening what looks like tequila and taking a long swig.

I leave the house from the opposite door Chrissie just used. I feel slightly better when my feet land on the sand of the beach and start walking toward Pleasure Beach.

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