Page 10 of The Pact

I knock on McKayla’s door and there’s no answer, so I open the door, worried about my niece. She’s had a fever the last couple of days and we’ve been monitoring her around the clock despite the doctor saying that it’s most likely just a bug, nothing to be concerned about if the fever doesn’t get higher or other symptoms appear.

Skye is screaming in her cot by the side of McKayla’s bed. My sister is lying in bed, face down. I quickly check on the baby and she isn’t too warm, she’s probably just wet and hungry, so I pick her up and make my way to the other side of the full bed where my sister doesn’t seem to be awake.

I immediately notice that her light brown hair is sticking to her face and neck and she’s sweating profusely, her breathing shallow and slow. “Shit! You’re burning up,” I say after feeling her forehead with my hand and moving her hair away from her face.

McKayla replies with a pained moan, squeezing her eyes shut as if the light in the room was too painful to deal with. Her voice comes out raspy when she tells me that everything hurts. “I was fine until I came back from work last night. I woke up about two hours ago to be sick and I can’t move. My throat’s on fire and my head is killing me.”

I leave her just to go to the bathroom to get her a thermometer and I’m not surprised to see that she’s running a fever. “One hundred and two,” I announce, helping her to sit up in bed.

“I must have got what Skye had,” she says. “Thankfully though she’s better. Her fever broke last night.”

I busy myself changing Skye’s diaper and making her a bottle and then I bring my sister a cup of hot tea, sitting on the other side of the bed with my niece in my arms. “I’ll warm you up some chicken soup for later, sweetie. Try to sleep. I have the day off today, so I can look after Skye for you.”

McKayla nods. “Thank you, Ausra. Some rest will do me good, hopefully I’ll feel well enough to go to work later.”

I give her a stern look. “Are you insane? You’re way too sick to go to work. You should stay in bed and rest. Plus, you’re probably contagious too.”

She shrugs. “I have no choice if we want to make rent this month, sis. The extra doctor’s visits for Skye will mean an extra bill. And you just started at the library, so you won’t have your first pay check for another couple of weeks. I can’t afford to stay in bed.”

She’s right. In the last six months, since I’ve been living with her, she’s mostly supported me while I finished high school. I transferred to the public high school, because Dad stopped paying my tuition fees for the fancy private school I’d been attending since we transferred here to Shell Cove from Texas. While I was still in school, I got a part time job at Shell Cove Public Library and I was delighted when I was offered a full-time position after graduation. That made it possible for McKayla to get a job bartending at the Stowaway, one of the most popular bars in Shell Cove. She’ll make way better money than at her old job at a diner behind the marina. Also our schedules now are such that I can watch Skye at night when Mc is at work and she’s home during the day, so we don’t have to depend on the good will of our neighbors or expensive babysitters.

“Mc, it doesn’t matter if you can afford it. You’re too sick to go to work.” I try to put my foot down but my sister is as stubborn as I am.

“You don’t get it, Ausra. I’ve been working there just for a couple of weeks. I’m too scared that I’ll get fired if I call in sick on a Friday night and with such little notice. Joe will get mad.”

I understand her concern but I tell her that her boss will probably get madder if she goes in and gives her bug to him and all her other co-workers.

She sighs, collapsing onto her pillows with a groan. “What other choice do I have? It’s not like I have anyone that can cover my shift for me.”

She’s right, unless ... “What about me? I could work instead of you tonight.”

McKayla thinks about it for a second. “I don’t know, sis. I mean, you’re underage but you could use the fake ID I got you so we could go out on my birthday ...”

I nod: I didn’t use it often but a handful of times when we got Mrs. Andrews to watch Skye, McKayla took me to a few bars and once to a club. It was fun to hang out with her, to feel normal for a night, even if I kept looking over my shoulder as if I expected our dad to appear all of a sudden to drag me home.

McKayla is still debating if I could cover for her. “The thing is, Ausra, could you manage? I mean serving drinks and stuff?”

I reassure her that I pick up things pretty quickly. “Look, it’s not a fancy cocktail bar. It’ll be mostly beers and liquor with a mixer. I doubt that I’ll even get to dazzle them with my martini making skills.” Martinis and Old Fashioned are the only cocktails I can make, Dad taught me once, so I could serve him and Mr. Greggs during their strategy meetings.

“I’d owe you big,” McKayla says, finally convinced. “What would I ever do without you, Ausra? You’re like my guardian angel, you always have been. While I don’t do anything but cause trouble for you.”

I tell her to cut it out and go to sleep while I take Skye for a walk by the marina and I’ll pick up some soup on the way back home. McKayla feels guilty because she feels like she was the cause of my estrangement from our parents. I’ve told her many times that I’m actually grateful that she gave me a way out of that life. Sure, we might have to eat lots of rice and potatoes at the end of the month but I’m free. I wear what I want, I read what I want and I don’t have to justify everything I do and every thought that I have. I’ve had to delay college until I can save enough for some online classes but let’s face it, I don’t think Dad would’ve let me go after all.

***

Ausra

I CHECK MY REFLECTION in the mirror and think that I like the way I look in McKayla’s work uniform. I smile at the thought that my parents would have a heart attack if they saw me in the skin tight white t-shirt and the super short cut-off denim shorts that the Stowaway girls have to wear.

I haven’t done much to my long, wavy blonde hair since moving out. I just got some layers added now that I can wear it down and I don’t have to hide it in old fashioned braids.

I finish applying a second coat of mascara and stare back at myself, thinking about all the times when I envied the girls who wore makeup at school. I don’t wear a lot of it but I like some neutral eye shadow, mascara and lip gloss. Like this I don’t look like I’m twelve anymore and now I’m able to choose my own clothes too. Now people talk to me like I’m a normal eighteen-year-old girl, they don’t look at me like some freak who has to hide her body. This is the thing, I don’t judge women who choose to dress conservatively as long as it’s their own choice. For me it never was, my dad’s doctrine dictated every aspect of my life, so now I feel liberated, happy.

I don’t have a boyfriend yet and not a lot of friends because I spend most of my time with McKayla and Skye but guys now look at me like I’m normal. Maybe even pretty. If I get noticed, I do so for the right reasons not because I look different and weird. I would love to have friends one day, maybe even a boyfriend.

I check on McKayla and Skye before heading out, finding them both asleep and I start walking toward the Stowaway.

The sun is beginning to lower on the horizon making the sky burst with beautiful colors. Pinks, purples, oranges are stroked on the darkening sky as if an artist was carefully painting them for my enjoyment. I inhale the crisp air with a hint of salt from the ocean and I marvel at how I can finally fill my lungs and let my thoughts wander wherever I want without worrying about scrutiny. Yes, I have to work hard for every scrap of food my sister and I put on our table but everything tastes better without the judgement and the strings attached to everything my parents ever gave us.

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