Page 53 of The Pact

“Her father probably wasn’t as forceful as yours. But he’s been trying to beat Lynda into submission. Kelley went to confront him that day. That’s why Mr. Greggs relented at first. But since we all graduated, things have changed for the worse. The other night at the party? Lynda had to sneak out to come to the beach. She carries ‘regular clothes’ with her but in her house, she’s now forced to dress like you were. And she’s been told that college is out of the question and that the church is opening a college for women in the new premises they’re building on the beach right by where we train. Kelley has no interest in her, the only reason why we let her hang around is—”

“Because my father’s reach is beginning to turn her into me?” I finish.

“Yeah. And not just Lynda. She told us that all the women over the age of thirteen are being forced to wear what are now called ‘purity clothes.’ Look, I’m sorry for the shit that Kelley said about you. It wasn’t directed to you. When we talked, he was actually worried that you were being abused or beaten like Lynda was. The harsh reaction was because his mother has had some problems with domestic violence and Kelley is still trying to get her help. But you can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped.”

His words heal some of my hurt feelings toward Kelley. His words six months ago still hurt but now I understand a little more. And for as much as I hated Lynda, I now feel sorry for her. I’m also very worried if what seemed to be Dad’s reaction to Mc’s pregnancy is affecting his whole community and not just the women in his household.

“There’s just one thing I don’t understand, Ausra,” Bode says seriously.

“What is it?”

“Why not tell us who you were when we saw you at the Stowaway? But mostly, why did you accept to hang out with us and agree to the game? Is this some kind of fucked up revenge scheme for making fun of you all those months ago?”

I see the doubt and the distrust in his eyes. “I don’t know how to explain it to you, Bode. But I’m different now.”

He nods. “That you can definitely say. So different that we didn’t realize who you were.”

“I don’t know,” I admit. “I was still mad at the shit Kelley and you guys said that day. But then you helped me that night. So I saw a different side to you all. And it’s hard to admit it but even then, I always thought the four of you were the best looking guys at school. I knew you’d never notice me but when you did ... I realized that I wanted you.”

Bode doesn’t say anything.

“Will you tell the others?” I ask, feeling anxiety collect in the pit of my stomach and doing my best not to show him how scared I am that this thing, this game between us may end.

“Are you sure you aren’t hanging out with us to hurt us back for hurting you?”

I shake my head. “No, I swear. I forgave all of you. Well, almost. With Kelley it’s a little harder but now I understand more about why he hates my father so much.”

Something passes in Bode’s blue eyes but it’s fleeting. “Ok. I believe you. I won’t tell them, Ausra. But I think you should.”

“I—”

He takes my hand in his. “Do it in your own time but I think the guys will surprise you. Now, come here.”

I go willingly when he pulls me closer to him.

I just like all four of them. Even Kelley. Is it wrong that I want them to get to know me for me and not as the preacher’s daughter?

“I just want them to get to know me first. Without the judgment that the old me seemed to attract.”

He considers my words, as he caresses my jaw with gentle fingers. “I understand that. But also try to put yourself in their shoes.”

“I know,” I whisper. “So can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You said that Kelley’s mom was being abused. Was that why you guys had to run yesterday?”

Bode sighs. “Yeah. It’s a fucking sad story but it isn’t my story to tell. Kelley will tell you if he wants to.”

Yeah. That’s the thing.

It’s a game.

We’re supposed to have fun together. I see why they want no strings attached. Because it’s so easy to hurt and get hurt when you dig deeper.

Bode’s eyes are fixed onto mine and there’s something in his dark blue gaze that makes me feel like I can trust him.

I’m still scared as hell that at the end of the summer, when our game will be over and I’ll have given these guys everything, I’m going to come out of it broken beyond repair.

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