Page 46 of Not Your Little Girl Anymore

Weird.

I suck in as much air as I can into my lungs to help build the courage that I wish I was born with. Natural courage would be far better than fighting for it. But I don’t have that, so cheers to learning how to believe in myself.

Slipping my phone into my back pocket, I stride over to the front door of the building with confidence that is quickly replaced with a trembling hand as it reaches for the knob to open the door.

It’s dark in here. I don’t know why I expected there to be much lighting. There’s one small light that casts a soft glow onto the wooden floor. It stretches down the narrow hall and curves upward, following the length of the stairs.

The air feels thicker in here as I breathe softly. Probably because I’m as nervous as I was when I went on my first roller coaster at Six Flags at the age of thirteen.

My tongue presses against the roof of my mouth as I swallow the thickness in my throat. I turn my head slightly where the studio door is. Curiosity gets the best of me and I peek through the frosted glass on the door, thankful that the hallway light is at least bright enough for me to make out what’s inside.

Colorful cables snake across the floor, and the walls look to be lined with wooden panels. I can’t see much of anything else, besides the red carpet. A small smile forms on my face before I swivel toward the stairs, anticipation sneaking back in. But my nerves claw at my insides making my heartbeat reverberate through my ears.

I climb the stairs anyway, refusing to let fear win.

When I reach the landing, I’m met with a tall white door and I swallow harshly, needing to gather the strength to knock. Alec mentioned he lived above the studio. I didn’t realize his apartment was the only one in this building.

Refusing to let fear win, I curl one hand into a tight fist, my nails digging into my palms until the pain calms the nerves scaling in my bones. I suck in a deep breath and raise my hand to knock on the door. The sound echoes through the empty hallway, seeming to only amplify my nerves.

My heart leaps, the pulse in my neck spazzing as I wait for the door to open. I nervously bite my bottom lip, as if I haven’t eaten in days and rock back and forth on my toes.

After waiting for what feels like forever… I tell myself he’s not home. I hate that I feel a little relieved because I was really hoping that he was going to be home.

I mean, why invite me over and then not be here?

Because you didn’t respond to him, duh.

Blowing out a breath, I turn on my heels, only to stop on the second step as the lock on the door clicks and the hinges creak as the door opens slowly.

“Going somewhere, Sunshine?” Alec’s deep voice rushes out causing me to swirl back around suddenly.

My heart shoots to the center of my throat as I take him in. He leans flawlessly against the door frame, shirtless. My eyes scan across his skin, tracing the intricate patterns permanently inked into his chest. His breathing is steady. My fingertips tingle as I imagine the rough texture of his tattoos under my touch, leaving me helpless as my eyes create an invisible path down his torso, to the peak of his boxers that show from beneath the waistband of his jean shorts.

The sound of his laugh fills my ears forcing my eyes to shoot to his. He watched me admire his body. My mouth parts, wanting to give him an answer but it seems I have suddenly lost my voice.

Somehow, I find it, and reply. “I… well, uh. I’m sorry. I should go.”

An ache shoots between my legs from the movement of his teeth dragging along his bottom lip. I’m officially frozen, cemented into the stairs.

“You can come in.”

I look down at my feet, sweeping a small strand of my blond hair behind my ear. When I look back at him, his arms are across his chest and the corner of his lip is curled upward.

I nod, walking back up the two steps and following him inside his apartment. My feet come to a sudden halt when my eyes meet a girl sitting at his bar-like counter that’s connected to his cabinets. It’s not just any girl… It’s Samantha.

Her eyes make one sweep over me, studying me like I’m some kind of test. Thick, uncomfortable silence fills this room, making me feel like I have some kind of plague.

Anxiety rises up my chest, nearly swooshing the air from my lungs. I bite down on the inside of my cheek to tame it down, but it doesn’t help much.

The last thing I need is to feel awkward.

Samantha runs her fingers through her beautiful, long brown hair and rises from the stool. Maybe she’s going to leave and then I can breathe again.

“I’m heading out.” Her hand grabs Alec’s arms, and from the corner of my eye I could have sworn she squeezed. “I’ll see you later, Alec.”

My muscles tighten from the way his name fell from her mouth. I’m forced to shake the anger out of me because I refuse to accept that I am a wee bit jealous.

The way she watches me as she walks out of his apartment gives me the assumption that she doesn’t like me just as much as I currently do not like her. That is ridiculous, though, because I’ve never once judged a person the way I am judging her now.

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