Page 42 of Not Your Little Girl Anymore

I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m not sure I would want to live inside of this body with how many emotions I’ve had to endure lately.

I crawl to the head of my bed and cover myself under my blanket, leaving my dress bunched up at my stomach. A quick panic rises up my throat and my eyes dart to the door. I sigh with aggravation because I’m forced to get up, hurry to the door and flip the lock before snuggling back underneath my blanket to do dirty things to myself for the first time in my entire life.

Maybe I’m slightly exaggerating. I have masturbated plenty of times before. The difference is I never used anything to stimulate myself besides my hand.

As I stare at the dildo, I think of one thing: What do I do with it?

It is such a stupid question because I obviously know what to do with it, but am I supposed to slip it into my mouth to lube it first?

Oh my god. I feel like such an idiot for thinking that.

Shaking my head, I chuckle at myself.

Using one hand, I feather it down the length of my body like I have done multiple times before, stopping so my index finger and middle finger hover over my clit. I gently massage it between my fingers, and then dip lower, sliding my fingers between my lips.

As I finger myself, I think about Alec. I imagine his fingers moving swiftly inside of me. That thought combined with the way my fingers curl against my cervix has my eyes rolling.

The sound of my breath quickens as I pick up the pace, exploring deep in my wetness. The sensation of my fluid causes a shiver to run down my spine. A quiet moan of pleasure escapes and I pick up the pace, gliding my fingers in and out of me.

I take a deep breath, my head falling back as I remove my fingers and replace it with the silicone dildo. I’m so wet it slides in with ease. My eyes close from the length and firm ridges as it glides effortlessly between my folds, and deep into my core.

This feels so good.

Using my thumb, I hover it blindly around, looking for the switch. When I find it, I push it and my mouth parts on its own accord.

Holy shit.

I’m not sure what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it. This is something different. Heaven. Bliss. All of the above. I wish I'd experienced this long before now. Could it be the imagination of Alec hovering over me, kissing up and down the expanse of my neck? How sexy he’d look taking me and filling me up with his length. That thought pushes me closer to the edge.

The faint scent of my arousal lingers in the air, intensifying the mood. The head hits that perfect spot against my cervix, pushing me closer to the edge of no return. My breath quickens, and my heart beats rapidly as I continue to please myself. Moaning loudly, I become lost in the moment. My eyes roll completely back and my body trembles as I reach climax, coming all over my bed sheet.

Chapter Fifteen

Alec

“You look like hell.” Samantha tosses a fresh pack of smokes my way before sitting beside me on the front step of the music studio—my apartment building.

Today, the building is the music studio because we have to practice, and we need to go over the songs we’re going to play when we get to Denverson. Not to mention, we have one event scheduled in town the weekend before we leave.

That leaves us all of three weeks.

James chuckles, walks past me, and heads inside. He’s not one for conversation. He’s the quietest of the group, but he’ll always add his opinions when it’s necessary.

“Thanks. It took me a long time to get my hair to look this good,” I reply sarcastically, running my hand through my mussed hair.

I catch a glimpse of Samantha. Her lips purse, and she nods. “Yeah, it sure looks that way.”

I pack down my cigarettes, banging them upside down in my palm, and flip the tab to open them before taking one out with my teeth. With one quick flick of my lighter, the paper burns easily as I take in a mouthful of smoke.

“I didn’t really sleep much,” I admit. Truthfully, I couldn’t sleep after leaving Summer’s house. All I could think about is my arms wrapping around her small frame with my guitar in her lap. How beautiful she’d look.

“Bone Summer too much?” Sam teases, and my muscles tense. I have to bite my tongue to refrain from saying something that I’m going to regret.

I would rather not say anything at all.

Samantha gets the point. “Look, I’m sorry. It was left wide open.”

I shake my head, irritated. “She’s not like that.”

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