Page 39 of Not Your Little Girl Anymore

As we walk up the path, I notice how beautiful and well cared for this cemetery is. I knew it was the best in town, but I didn’t anticipate it being this elegant and peaceful. I pause, struggling to walk the rest of the way.

Chloe wraps one arm around my shoulder. “Are you doing alright?”

I take in my surroundings, scaling my eyes over all the tombstones. Some are weathered in time, and some are freshly polished. The roll of my throat is harsh as I swallow. “No, but I have to be.”

Chloe frowns and follows me the rest of the way. My lips pinch together when my eyes skate over everyone here.

Uniforms.

The majority of people here are in police uniforms.

My body heats as anger starts to rise beneath the surface of my skin.

I shake my head. “I can’t fucking believe this.”

Chloe’s eyes fall. “What?”

Scratching my temple, I sigh. “Dad refused to call Mom’s friends but had the audacity to have the whole police squad here. I just… Mom couldn’t stand half of these people.”

An unwelcoming wave of grief washes over me.

Chloe grabs my upper arms and turns me to face her. “Listen, they are here to support your father, who also lost his wife. Don’t let something like this affect you.” I nod, holding onto her words, and she gives me a soft smile. “Come on.”

On our way to find a good place to stand, I walk past Mom’s friends, Mary and June, and pause quickly to give them both a hug. I start with June, who apologizes for my loss, and move to Mary, who hugs me a little tighter than June. I was always a bit closer to Mary.

“Thank you for being here,” I say to both of them.

Mary’s arm rests on my back and moves up and down. “She will be missed.”

I nod, slipping out of her hold and making my way to Allen Brentley. He sees me and give a soft smile, pulling me into a hug.

“How are you holding up, kiddo?”

“As best as I can.” I look around him, noticing his wife isn't here. “Is Mrs. Raleigh at home?”

“Tabitha is with the kids.” I bite back a smile. “Are you ever going to call her by her name?”

“Nope.”

Allen gives me one last hug before I stand beside Chloe and wait for everything to start.

As the funeral draws closer, Dad steps beside my mother’s urn. He kisses two of his fingers and rests them on the top of the jar as if he is giving Mom one last kiss goodbye. My eyes water, but I’m forced to blink the tears away. I need to be stronger than this. With a quick roll of my shoulders, I stand taller as Dad begins his speech.

He clears his throat. “Thank you for coming here today,” he begins, his eyes scaling over everyone here and landing on me. He nods his head, giving me a sad smile. “Losing Katherine has been a great deal of pain for all of us, but she’s no longer suffering.”

His words fade out as I imagine her beautiful smile. My chest pinches, and a tear sneaks out. I quickly wipe it away with my fingertips as Chloe hugs me tight, I lean into her touch needing the comfort from my best friend.

The world surrounding me blurs. It’s like I’m trapped in a fantasy where none of this is real. I wish it wasn’t.

I notice out of the corner of my eye that two officers to the right are chatting, and I find it utterly disrespectful to be standing here at my mother’s funeral conversing among themselves instead of respecting the death of my mom.

I look over to Chloe. “Hey, I’ll be right back.”

She looks me over quickly, but then nods, and I hurry toward the officers. I don’t recognize them, but it isn’t unusual considering I wasn’t around many officers besides Allen. I pause in my tracks as I overhear them whisper.

“I can’t believe he’s pushing for the case to close,” the one closer to me says.

My eyes narrow, and I take a step back so I can move directly behind them to listen better and go unnoticed. I’m certain if they see that I’m close by, they won't continue their conversation.

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