Page 88 of Not Your Little Girl Anymore

My eyes furrow, pain deepening in the center of my heart. “Why couldn’t you be honest with me?”

“I’m an idiot, that’s why.” He pinches my chin, holding my head in place. “I’m sorry.”

My eyes water and I can’t push them aside, so I close them. “Please don’t lie to me again. I don’t think I can handle any more than what I already have.” I nearly choke on my words.

He cups my face. “Never again,” he murmurs, leaning in a gentle kiss, the touch igniting a spark of warmth straight between my legs. My mouth parts, allowing access for his tongue to slip inside, but he breathes the kiss before things have a chance to move further. “What did your father do?”

My body stills, my heart sinking. I scratch my temple. More tears make a path down my heated cheeks. I blow out a long breath. “I brought up my mothers case file. He… choked me. Told me that he made sure I would never find out who killed my mother.”

***

Shame creeps up, grasping my insides like withered vines clinging to the side of a rundown building. I didn’t want to repeat the actions my father had done—I didn’t want anyone to know. And I’m not sure why I felt the need to keep it hidden. Could it be because I am still in denial? Probably.

My life was never meant to be like this. I was meant to go to college, succeed, and be worthy of the world, and of my parents.

The way Alec looks at me makes me feel far worse. He looks angry. The fire in his gaze burns through me, and his jaw is set tighter than I’ve ever seen from him.

“Please, say something?” I beg after allowing the silence to linger on far too long.

He snaps out of the rage and drags his hand down his face, gripping the edge of his jaw tightly. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to think. He fucking…” He pauses, taking in a deep breath. I hear the rough exhale he let out shortly after. “He could have killed you.”

My throat clogs with something rough.

My father could have killed me, yes. That’s the truth. I was hardly able to breathe when his hand was gripping my throat, pressing hard against the expanse of my neck with his palm.

“But he didn’t…” I know that doesn’t matter, but I make it a point anyway. Again, I’m not even sure why. “I know that doesn’t justify what he did. It doesn’t give him a write-off just because he could have killed his daughter, but he didn’t.”

The tension between us builds, and Alec’s whole body vibrates with every word I say. I can feel it through my own body.

“He let me go, Alec. He let me go, and the only thing I can do is heal. Who will believe me if I go to the police station where he fucking works and report him?” I choke out. “He will get out of this no matter what I have to say.”

Finally, Alec comes over, sliding a chair closer and pulling me into his arms. The circles he creates on my lower back are comforting. “He’s not getting away with this. I’ll make sure of that. Even if that means I’m put behind those bars instead.”

My eyes narrow, and I instantly shove him away from me and stand. “You are not going to get locked up on my account. This isn’t a battle for you.”

He huffs. “Do you not get it?”

“What is there to get?”

He gets up and steps forward to me. His eyes darken the longer they pierce through me. “I would go to the ends of this Earth to make sure you are safe. I would cut anyone’s hands off if they dared to touch you in the wrong way. Rip their heart out if they dared to hurt you.”

His hands come up to my face. His touch is gentle, but his words are so deep. Brutal. “Why?”

He chuckles, but it’s soft, and he brushes his thumb down my cheek. I nearly shatter from the warmth of his finger. “Because I love you.”

My mouth falls open, and I look at his eyes. They are filled with adoration and pure love. I blink back the water that is beginning to overflow my eyes, but it doesn’t help. Warmth trickles down my face as the wet, hot tears escape, slipping off my chin the same way they have a thousand times already. I can’t control them, no matter how much I fight it. It’s inevitable. The void that rests in my chest never budges. I’m simply hollow inside.

“I… I don’t know how to feel.” I sniffle between quiet sobs. “I don’t know how to feel normal anymore.”

“Pretty girl, you don’t need to be normal. In fact, that’s one thing I love most about you. Normal is for the weak, and that’s far from what you are. No matter what happens, I’ll be by your side… Every single step of the way. Do you understand me?”

I nod, biting down on the inside of my cheek, my nerves swirling inside of my belly. When I close my eyes to inhale and hold my breath, that is when I know exactly what I need to do.

Opening my eyes, I let out the air slowly. “I think I need to…” I swallow down the bile that sneaks its way up my throat. At the same time, I’m hating myself for what I’m about to say. “I think I need to confront my father.”

I clamp my eyes closed once more, my mind wandering to the moments we’ve shared while I was growing up. I was always his little girl—his princess. He’s done everything he can for me, including shielding me from the wicked world we live in. But now…

Now I realize that my father is the only evil I should have been protected from.

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