Page 81 of Not Your Little Girl Anymore

“I know you’re here, and I know I screwed up,” Alec starts. I feel like everyone is staring at me when, in truth, nobody knows he’s referring to me. If I can sneak away and pretend this never happened, I won’t have anything to worry about. “Please. I need you up here,” he continues.

“Chloe, let go of my arm.” I try to fight my way out, but her grip tightens, and my blood heats from the rage flowing through my veins.

“I’m not letting you walk away,” she says.

“I hate you. I hate you so much, Chloe,” I choke.

“That’s OK.” Chloe holds me tighter, hugging me as the tears leak down my face.

My eyes move toward the stage, struggling to look at the friend who betrayed me. They land on Alec, who glances down at his Vans. I see his chest rise as he exhales, a frown on his face, and my heart pulls against my ribs.

He adjusts the mic closer to his mouth. “I surrender my soul to you. Over and over again. I understand if you can’t forgive me, but please know I will forever give myself to you. In this life. In another life. My heart is yours.”

My eyes widen and I'm not sure if I'm breathing anymore.

All I can hear now is whispers from everyone around me.

“I can’t be here, Chloe. Please let me go,” I beg, the tears soaking the top of my blouse.

“Not until you go up there.”

I look at her painfully. But it’s something in her eyes that has me blowing out a breath and making my way across the field. My throat closes on me on the walk there, my heart thudding loudly in my ears. This feels like a dream. A nightmare.

My anxiety increases as I reach the stairs, trying to drown out the large crowd of people that is now looking right at me, shocked, nonetheless.

Being the center of attention has never been my cup of tea.

The strong built security man allows me to pass, and I hastily climb the few stairs and look at James, who is closest to me. His eyes are full of adoration, and he nudges his head toward Alec with a slight smile on his face.

I want to shake my head. I want to kick and scream and run out of town and never look back, but I can’t move. My body is stiff, and my nerves are simply out of control. It feels like claws are scratching my throat and opening my wounds.

Alec looks up at me, his stormy eyes full of just as much sadness as mine. He manages to smirk still, but it’s not big enough for anyone else to notice.

Pressing his lips together in a thin line, he nods, realizing that I’m not going to come any closer. His tattooed arm swings up to grab the mic and takes it off the stand. The low melody of James’s bass picks up, followed by the rest of the instruments.

And Alec’s voice.

He sings, walking closer to me. I tense, but I'm still nailed to this very spot. He’s so close now. His fingers feather along my arm as he makes his way down to my hand, removing the grip I have on my purse strap and linking our fingers together. I let him.

I can’t believe I let him.

But suddenly, as he brings me to the center of the stage, everyone disappears. It’s like we’re the only two people standing here. Something strange grows in my belly, but I can’t fight whatever it is.

He turns around, faces me, and sings softly in the microphone. We’re mere inches apart. I can smell his expensive cologne. It smells so good.

He smells so good.

He brushes his hand delicately along my cheek as he sings, tucking a small strand of hair behind my ear. I lean into his touch, clamping my eyes shut for a moment. The warmth of his skin against mine sends a warm sensation through me. The tension in my muscles eases, but it’s not enough to make me feel even slightly OK.

Every fiber of my being is fighting to keep my little box locked up, but it’s no use.

He pinches my chin with his fingers, forcing me to look up at him. And I do. Because he is everything, and I hate him for it.

He releases a deep breath and lowers his arm as the last note fades away. The crowd erupts in applause. His grip on the mic loosens. It slips out of his hand, falling onto the stage with a soft but loud thud that echoes through the speakers.

His breathing is deep and rapid.

All of a sudden, he grabs my face in his hands, bends down, and crashes his mouth to mine. It’s slow but deep. Exhilarating. My breath whooshes from my lungs, but my eyes are wide until they slowly start to flutter closed.

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