“Brandon Antonio was arrested, yes?” Judge Hathaway asks.

“Yes, your honor. He was taken to the station shortly after Summer Raleigh’s statement.”

“Mhm. Now, is Ms. Raleigh here today?”

My stomach twists, my fingers curling into fists. I might hurl.

“It is in her best interest that she be left out of this hearing.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Oh, no. Please. God. Don’t make me stand up there.

“She is here today, your honor.”

My skin overheats, and I feel like I can’t breathe. I thought I could do this. I thought I’d be able to handle being here and listening, but all it took was seeing my father’s eyes glued onto me—a dagger waiting to strike.

His hair is greasy, a gray mop of a disaster resting on the top of his head. From where I’m sitting, the bags underneath his eyes are viable. Chained cuffs wrap around his wrists, and two officers keep close with firearms ready in case of an unplanned attack.

Twenty minutes pass as the Judge reviews the copies of Kayse’s paperwork. When she finishes, she turns to my father: “Mr. Raleigh, do you understand the severe consequences of your actions?”

My father doesn’t take his eyes off me. “I do.”

“Great. We are sentencing you to twenty-five years for third degree murder, and five years for tampering with evidence. You will have a 25,000 dollar fine.” She turns her head and continues speaking to everyone, “All signed documents and cases involving Charles Raleigh are to be looked over. Court dismissed.”

The sound of the wooden hammer slamming against the desk causes me to jump, followed by a strange sound creeping its way up my throat, my eyes falling shut as water leaks from the corners. I shake my head. Unable to control myself as long sobs shatter me into different pieces.

It hurts. It hurts so fucking bad hearing this.

My father is going to prison. Where he belongs. I should feel better, but I don’t.

There will no longer be laughs. Golf trips on a weekend. There will no longer be a ‘I’m proud of you’ coming from him. Not even a small tear of happiness when I succeed in what is to come.

There will no longer be an us.

I cover my mouth as the cries break free. “I need to leave,” I manage to stumble over my words. I speak to Alec and look for his comfort—his love and the protection he gives me.

He holds my hands, helping me up from my seat. I don’t pay attention to anyone else, my vision hazy and nausea coiling inside my stomach. My muscles are so weak I’m barely able to register that my feet are even moving.

Warm air hits my face, but it’s a blur. My hand makes its way against my chest, right over my heart, as my feet stumble from underneath me. Alec’s arms. That’s all I feel, all I can register as he holds me in place, so I don’t crash onto the ground.

The pain is real. Dragging through my insides and leaving me to drown in my own blood.

Alec’s voice is all I hear, but I can’t register the words as I gasp through each strong inhale. My throat hurts. Brutally sore from the scream that escapes from me.

“It’s OK, Sunshine. You’re OK.” I manage to hear as Alec pulls me into his chest,

I notice we’re sitting on the ground in front of the courthouse. I hear voices, but can’t make out who’s voice they belong to. Alec rocks me back and forth, holding me tight and drawing lines up and down my spine.

God, why? What have I done to deserve this?

Chapter Forty-five

Alec

I hold Summer’s hand firmly the whole ride back to my apartment. Originally, we were going to tackle my aunt’s after court, but that was before the panic attack.

Had I known she was going to break? No, but I figured as much.