Page 10 of Not Your Little Girl Anymore

His eyes remain on the floor, his expression unreadable. “Some details aren’t important.”

I press my lips together and crinkle my eyes shut. “How is it not important? Every detail is important… at least to me.”

“Summer,” he raises his voice, staring at me in warning.

There’s silence between us for a moment before I whisper, “She’s my mother. I have every right to know what is going on.”

“We’re doing everything we can. Right now, it’s your job to say your goodbyes.”

My throat closes, and my eyes fill with unwanted tears. Tears that I can’t help but let form. I blink them back as much as I can. “I’m going for a walk. I can’t do this right now.”

I storm out of the funeral home, and as soon as the door closes behind me, my chest tightens, and my breathing becomes heavy. My fingers tremble as I fumble with my phone and plug in my headphones.

I should go home. I should call Chloe. Except, right now, I don’t want to do either of those things. I just need time to myself.

The further I walk, the music blocks out the sounds of the filling streets, and all the tears fall. They slither down my cheeks, hot and heavy. Uncontrollable. Raw.

Everyone probably thinks I’m psychotic, and maybe I am. Maybe I deserve all of this.

I make my way into the commons a few blocks from my house and sit on the first bench I see in the shade. I’ve held in the majority of my pain because I felt like I had to be strong for Dad. For everyone else who was close to Mom.

But the truth is, I can’t be strong.

Not anymore.

Chapter Four

Alec

“We can squeeze in the sixteenth in Moresdale or the nineteenth in Denverson. Given both areas being in two different towns, you will need to choose one,” my director, Chase, tells me, running his fingers through his mid-length, dirty blond hair.

Meeting with him today wasn’t my plan. It was quite the opposite. I planned to drive down East Street for the twelfth time this week, knowing I shouldn’t be.

But I can’t help it. Each day that goes by, it becomes harder for me to avoid that area of town.

I lean over the small table, wrapping my hand around the plastic cup of my iced coffee. “What’s wrong with Sauter’s Park and Recreation?”

Chase eyes me, his jaw jerking to the side. “Alec, I can’t help you get the band attention if you constantly avoid other areas. I understand this town is your comfort zone, but you need other options.”

My stomach twists at the thought of playing anywhere other than Brooklyn. This is my hometown. Where it all started, and a small piece of me keeps praying that one of these days, my aunt will show up, and I’ll be able to convince her that I am a good person and worthy of being someone she is proud of.

I breathe in, my gaze drifting out the window as I sip my cold drink. As soon as I swallow, my lungs leap out of my chest. Chase started talking again, but I start tuning his voice out the second my eyes landed on a familiar blond girl walking across the street into the commons.

If I hurry this meeting up, I can run over there before she disappears.

“Jesus, Alec.” Chase slams his binder closed, bringing my attention back to him. The chair scrapes against the wooden floors as he pushes it out and stands. “Get your shit together, or I’m done.”

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I let out an aggravated groan. The logical side of me will stop Chase and continue our conversation. But I don’t. Instead, I leave a few dollars on the table, grab my coffee, and run into the commons to look for Officer Raleigh’s daughter.

Chapter Five

Summer

I curl up on the bench and stare out into space. My vision is blurry from the excessive amount of tears I let out, but I’m able to take in a normal amount of oxygen now.

It feels like I’ve been sitting here crying for hours, but I know it hasn’t been that long. The walk here was only twenty minutes, and I sat down five minutes ago.

I force myself to blink until my vision clears, and I dry my face with my fingertips, praying that I didn’t smear too much of my mascara. When I look at my fingers, I sigh. It’s definitely smudged.

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