Page 82 of Shifted

"What?" I ask him, not sure if I fully heard him right.

"You said, “I love you, Amartolós, you stupid idiot.” Well, I love you too, Angel." His words flow through my ears like a melody, sending tears to my face again. I craved it for years, just for him to say it one last time to me, for him to feel it and mean it.

"You do?" uncertainty fills my voice in fear.

"Who couldn't love you, Hope?" My arms made their way around his neck, and the room fell away. We were destined to meet; one way or another, the universe was always pulling us back together. As if he was some stronger force in my life that I'd been pulled towards, some invisible string that tied me to him. Even when I tried to ignore it, the memories, thoughts, and dreams of him always consumed my mind the most.

No matter how many times I wanted to deny it. Pack it away and shove it under my bed to try and forget it. Theo Jones would never go away, and neither would my love for him. So, as our lips connect for the first time in years, I’m simply at home. Kissing is the purest form of physical affection there was. Sex was intimate; sure, you could have sex with anyone. But a kiss, a kiss like this, my god. It changes your world. The connection of simply two lips can blow your mind.

He pulls back, glancing back into my eyes. It felt as if the world stopped for the briefest second, and the anticipation for the follow-up kiss was already building.

But then it happens. Your lips meet again, and it feels like the most-right thing in the world. It reminds me of our first kiss, the one that took me by surprise. Because after fighting for ten minutes over something stupid, our lips connected. The fear of what is keeping us from pursuing what we want. I told myself I didn't want it to happen again; I wouldn't let it happen again. But he never left me alone on that college campus after seeing me that day.

I moan as he pulls back in the heat of the kiss. He pressed me against his chest just to hold me in his arms. A kiss is placed on my forehead, and I feel the safest I've ever been here in his arms. I was alive and comforted in his arms, where I was so desperate to be.

"Are you okay?" He whispers.

"I'm not dead, am I?" I jest and his grip around me tightens as if he were to let go, I'd run.

"Seriously, Hope, your wound." He let go of me and slowly lifted my shirt to see my stitches. His fingers grazed the stitches on my arm lightly. "I took two bullets for you. Are you impressed?" I mumble. He let go of my shirt and towered over me again with a more serious look.

"Yes, now, never do that again." I ran my fingers underneath his T-shirt, running my fingers against his back—a feeling I've missed for years. I had so many questions, things to say, and stories to tell, and I wanted to finally just come back to the two of us again.

"You were going to propose to me on the beach?" I asked, watching as his face slowly turned three different shades of red at the mention of the memory he shared. I didn’t even realize that it’d been me.

"It's funny how fate works, isn't it?" he mused, slightly annoyed. Our daughter's beautiful." The mention of her makes me smile as he refers to her as our daughter. Because that’s who she was, a part of me and Theo.

"Yeah, she looks just like her father, the dumbest man on the planet." He scoffs at my words. But she is beautiful, and so is he. I knew when I was carrying Joely that she would be beautiful because her father took my breath away with just one glance.

"Why didn't you tell me about her? Did you think I wouldn't have wanted to be her father? You know what I asked you.” He wanted a family and promised me one eventually. I wanted that with him, but we don’t always get what we want.

"When I was three months pregnant, I told Bella, and I couldn't hide it anymore. It didn't feel right, and I didn't want to do it alone. But I called you, wrote to you even… but you never answered." I removed my hands from his body and gestured for him to follow me into the living room, and he did as I sank into his gray couch. "So, when I told Bella about my pregnancy, later on, you came up in conversation. She told me a story about how all of a sudden you moved and... you were engaged to a nice woman named Michelle, or rather, Mikki." I could see the pain in his eyes as I said it—the woman whom I once fought with him about. But I accepted my defeat and knew that he was bound to find someone else.

"Why would Bella say that? Hope, I want you to know that I was never with anyone afterward. I hadn’t even had sex until… Angel. For some reason, I felt something for the first time with her and figured it was just lust, but it was you. Nobody is like you," I felt a blush hit my cheeks at my confession to come. I guess I mentally blocked sex from my life as a tactic, never fully moving on.

"Amartolós was my first time since you," I admitted back, and a smirk slowly spread against his face. “How did he perform? Was he better than me in bed? You can be honest; I won't be offended." He teased, and I shook my head and stared out into the city of Boston. The bitter frost that held over the city left it icy, but the city looked bright, and people were walking in the common, enjoying each other's company.

"Why would you believe her?" he asked, and I stared back at him as he wasn't ready to let it go. Why would I believe his sister over him after all this time?

"She's my best friend, Theo, and you didn’t give me the chance to tell you.” What was I supposed to believe? He no longer spoke to me and became out of reach. How could I not believe her?

"I'm your best friend, Hope, always. I wanted to give you your space. I broke your heart and mine, and I knew coming back in would just hurt all over again. I know what happened sucked, but you should know that Bella got me the job,” my throat felt like it was closing with those words. Ones I didn’t want to believe because that meant she somehow knew.

“She got me the pitch that got me my company in Chicago. Her friend at The Globe pitched me to investors, and they wanted in. I left because of Bella, and I wouldn’t destroy your career taking you with me." My stomach churned in an unsettling way at the realization because Bella told me he'd been setting up this deal for months. She had been planning this, planning to get in the way and ruin us, rather than simply confronting or talking to us about this. I know it was wrong to hide it from her, but there was good reason.

"When I called you again to try and tell you about the baby, Michelle answered the phone. I asked who it was, and a woman claimed to be your fiancé. I felt like I was ruining the happiness you gained." Confusion struck his face, and he shook his head. Standing up, he came back over to me. He could read my hurt and pain.

"You and Joely are the only happiness that life has ever gifted me. Even if she weren't mine, Hope, I'd still love her the same as I have" I feel my heart ache again, and he bends down to the ground to sit beside me as I lay on the couch. He holds my hand, rubbing circles against it.

"How did it all get so fucked up? How did I let myself believe that you wouldn't want us?" The words left my mouth as I felt so stupid. I don’t know why I couldn’t see what was happening and how I robbed myself and our daughter from him. I should’ve gone and flowed out to Chicago and talked to him instead of trying to forget him.

"It wasn't you, Hope; it was my sister." The thought of it came back to mind. I felt as if I could almost be sick. I wanted to deny it, believe that Bella couldn't do such a thing. She was my sister. She saw how hard it was to raise Joely on my own, how I cried to her at night over my depression.

"I should've just told her about us, especially when I was pregnant; she deserved to know." I always felt a pang of guilt for keeping it from her, but I thought I was protecting our friendship, not severing it.

"Did she? I liked our relationship private and tucked away from her because I didn't want her to ruin it. I mean, Mom knew. She’s known for years, and she knew how heartbroken I was when I had to leave you for Chicago." That feeling of my heart twisting occurred again. Maria knew. The whole time she knew, I wondered if she still questioned if Joely was her grandchild. Just four months after Theo left, Maria learned of my pregnancy. Why didn’t she ever ask me or tell him?

"I never asked her about you after I left. Because I didn't want to burden your life, you were starting law school. You had this great life planned out, and I couldn't ask you to come with me. We'd meet again. I knew it would happen if we were meant to be," my fingers laced through his hair as he spoke.

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