Page 52 of Shifted

"You know why, Hope." His words twist my stomach, and my head goes back to his chest.

"Bella told me, and I knew you were alone; I couldn't have you be alone." He confirms.

"What if Julie and Hyram were here?" He shakes his head.

"I knew you'd be alone, Hope." I took in his scent; it was comforting. I felt his hand stroke the back of my hair. "I'm so sorry." He choked up as he spoke, something I've never really seen him do. The pain won't leave for a while. It'll last, but then someday. It won't be as bad slowly…"

"You'll be okay, Hope."

?

When I returned to my apartment, he stood waiting at the door. As he looked up to notice me staring at him in his scrubs, I watched the solemness stretch against his lips.

"Hope, I'm so sorry," I nod in acceptance. These are words that have been shared with me all day, ones I never wanted to hear. His arms envelop me, and a kiss is placed on my cheek. I accept his hug, wrapping my arms around him.

"I can't believe she's gone, Reed." He took the key from my hands and walked me into the apartment, "How do I tell Joely that Grandma died? Nobody's ever died in her life." My bag is thrown to the side, and I walk to my couch and sink into it.

Where do I go now?

When someone you love passes, you aren't left in peace like them; you're left with arranging a funeral and the chaos of family issues. Sometimes, it brings families together, but most times, it breaks them. But I didn’t have a family to mourn with; I just had myself and my child.

Reed’s arms pull me into a hug again, and I feel a breaking feeling in my chest. The overwhelm of tears consumes me as I lean in to cry. But I feel a vibration, and his body is tense as the sound of his pager comes through. He looks at a loss for what to do, so I simply say.

"Go.”

"Hope-"

"Someone else might be dying, go." He stares at me and nods, quickly leaving. I was alone again. I've gotten used to this. But my friend, the woman who comforted me most, was gone. Besides him, he comforted me most, but I didn't have him.

“Tell him.” She says as one of her few final words to me. But how could I do such a thing? How could I do that when he wanted nothing to do with us? It keeps me up some nights, leaving me confused because he's here, but he's not. He didn’t want a life with me, and yet still, in the worst hours of my life, I wanted him to console and comfort me.

A few minutes pass in silence, and a knock comes at the door. I go to it and see a florist standing before me with the name tag 'Caleb' pinned to him as he holds a bouquet of Lilies. He hands me the bouquet, and I take it inside, placing it on the kitchen table. I reach for the card, and the name on the inside surprises me.

I know I was with you this morning

but I am still so sorry, Hope. You're in my

thoughts today, and Mary Ellen will

always be in my prayers.

- Theo

I still don't know how or why he was there. He wouldn't give me a valid answer. He just said he heard and knew I was going to be alone. But why show up for me? What if I wanted to be alone? I didn’t, but I felt it more now than ever at this moment. My phone buzzed again, and when I answered it, I immediately wished I hadn't once spoken.

"Hope, it's Taryn," said my biological blood-sucking sister. I couldn't believe she dared to call me today out of all days. I don't say a word; instead, I just breathe heavily so she knows I can hear her. "Look, I know I haven't been around, but grandma is dead. I wasn't sure if anyone told you so-"

"I was with her when she died. Don't call me Taryn. Go back to your paintings and delusions of the life you have on the West Coast," I end the line; I didn't want to see her. She left me stranded when I needed someone, anyone. I was a child, but yet she pushed me aside like I was nothing, just like my parents.

Sitting here alone in my kitchen, staring at these flowers, is painful because someone thought about me. After all, someone didn't want me to be alone. Theo didn't just casually call to tell me he was sorry for my loss. He meant it; he wanted to be here, and in the moment that counted most, he was. The sound of the front door swinging open distracts me, and I hear little feet rattle behind me. Then, her two little arms wrap around my legs; I wipe my fallen tears and slowly turn to her.

"Baby girl! Did you have fun with Aunty Bella?" Jumping excitedly, she nods, wrapping her arms around my neck, and I lift her. Bella makes herself comfortable on the couch, and I turn my attention to Joely.

"Yes, mummy!" Kissing her little cheek, she analyzes my face, noticing something was wrong. "Mummy, why do you cry?" Her hand caresses my cheek, wiping away fallen tears. This was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do yet as a mother, a moment I never saw coming. One that I never wanted.

“Well, Mommy has something she needs to tell you." My heart aches slightly. I think as a parent, this is one of the worst things one has to do: Tell your child that someone who's always been there, that you both loved, is no longer alive. “Grandma Mary Ellen got very sick last night." Her careless smile, filled with wonder, fades as she senses the seriousness in my tone.

"Is she okay, Mummy? Can we go see Grams?" I shake my head slowly as a burning feeling pierces my chest. Staring into those innocent eyes, she asks, "Why?" She pouts, and I feel the tears coming on again.

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