Page 37 of Prince of Pain

“Peachy.”

“Ry.” His eyes were full of concern as he watched me, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “You’re not usually violent. That wasn’t just a little bit of anger back there, you lost control.”

“He’s a rapist piece of shit. Why do you care about him?”

“I don’t give a fuck about him, but I do give a fuck about you. Are you spiraling again? Do you need to go back to therapy?” His voice was hesitant, knowing how much I hated therapy. I’d learned that it helped, but I hated making myself so vulnerable to a stranger like that. “And what’s the deal with Tempest?”

I knew that question had been coming.

“I have my shit handled, and Tempest needed somewhere to crash, so I went and got her. That’s the end of it. I swear I’m fine,” I said slowly as if to help him understand. “I’ve felt a little tense lately, but between blowing my load and throwing hands, I feel better now.”

He nodded, grabbing wipes from the drawer and offering them to me. The concern in his eyes didn’t go away, but he changed the subject. “Your mother wants a family meal tonight. Can you be there? You know how much it would mean to her.”

“Is that a good idea? Maddox and I will end up fighting, and fuck knows what Beckett will do. She’ll probably give me a black eye too,” I grumbled, his lips quirking up into the hint of a smile.

“Beckett’s pissed, but she loves you. She’s frustrated because you don’t talk to her anymore about anything. Maybe you could spend some time with her? She’s been beating up Skeet and Slash’s fighters all week.”

“Beck doesn’t understand my addiction struggles, and she doesn’t want to hear about things I stick my dick in,” I pointed out, making him laugh.

“Maybe not, but it couldn’t hurt to open up a little. You keep losing your temper over little things, which we expect with your recovery, but it worries her. She just wants to help you, Ry. She’s your twin, your other half, and she’s feeling helpless. Come to dinner and make conversation so she knows you’re okay. It will relax your mother to see you guys getting along too.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Do you think I can do this?” I swallowed, pulling a wet wipe out to start cleaning the blood off my hands. My mood swings drove me insane, but the constant pull towards the drugs was always there.

I’d fight like hell to avoid giving in, but some days it was harder.

“Do what? Stay clean?” When I nodded, he dropped a hand to my shoulder, my eyes lifting to his. “Yes. If you feel yourself slipping then you call me. You’ve got us right behind you, and I promise we’ll do everything in our power to help. You’re our son and we love you.”

“I’m not really though, am I?” I said it so quietly that I didn’t expect him to hear, but his fingers gripped my chin to keep my gaze on his.

“Is that what you think? That just because you’re not biologically all of ours, that we love you any less? None of us care about that. We watched you and your sisters come into this world, and as much as we’ll always see Lloyd, Mikey, and Angel as ours, you were our first born. It was one of the best days of my life.”

He grabbed a wipe and started cleaning the blood spatter from my face, my body slumping slightly. I didn’t deserve the family I had. They put up with so much shit from me.

“Did Skeet tell you about my psychopathic tendencies?”

I wasn’t surprised when he shook his head.

“If you’ve confided in Skeet, then he won’t tell anyone else. Whatever it is, you’re not a psychopath, Ry.”

“How do you know?”

“Because even though you try hard not to care about a lot of things, you do. You have a conscience. When you hurt Luna—” I flinched at his words, his voice softening. “You were fucked up on drugs and weren’t thinking clearly, but when you sobered up, you threw yourself in rehab because you were terrified of what you’d do to people if you didn’t. I’ve never seen you cry like that before, you were devastated.”

“She was scared of me,” I forced out, the defeat and anger bubbling below the surface.

“She’s proud of you for seeking help, and so are we. You want to know a secret?” When I nodded, he continued with a slight chuckle. “My brother used to run the Devils, but when he died, I had to choose between them and my best friend. I shot Skeet and chose the Devils. When I met your mother, I didn’t have the best intentions. The beef between the Psychos and Devils was strong, and I was going to take her to spite Skeet.”

My eyes widened in shock as I stared at him. “You were going to kidnap her?”

“I was pretty sure she would’ve come willingly after a few encounters, she was dealing with a lot of bullshit, and we somehow became friends. She threatened me a whole bunch at first though. Wasn’t sure if I wanted to fuck her or kill her.”

“So why didn’t you take her and run?”

“Because I fell for her. She didn’t need another villain in her life, so I learned to love her alongside the guys. Things aren’t always smooth sailing, you’ve seen us have disagreements, but we’re family and we make it work.”

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