Page 21 of Prince of Pain

This was why I’d wanted to get sober, my desires had become twisted while high, but they were invading my mind more and more lately, despite staying off the drugs.

Rehab couldn’t fix this, I needed the whacky shack.

“Hey, I’m fine. That was really good,” she insisted, sliding in front of me and grabbing my face in both hands, forcing me to look at her. “I really liked it. No one else fucks me like that.”

“Because it’s wrong!”

I was everything I hated in a man. I was a monster.

“Ryder, that was fucking hot. Calm down.”

“I need to go.”

I was admitting myself and getting one of those free straitjackets. I guess my family would be glad I’d be completely sober. I couldn’t hold a beer if my arms were strapped.

I pulled away from Tempest and stalked through the house, leaving out the front door and heading back to the car, locking myself inside and speeding off before Tempest could get dressed and chase after me.

Chapter Four

Ryder

“Ry? Is your friend okay?” Skeeter asked as I barreled into the house, not letting me dodge him as his hand darted out to fist the front of my shirt. “What happened? Why are you wet?”

“I’m a monster. I need to go to the nut house and throw away the key,” I blurted out, making him frown.

“Talk to me. Did you kill someone? Do I need to intervene and clean something up? Are you hurt?”

“Fuck, Dad. I hit her, and choked her so fucking hard. I—” He grabbed the back of my neck, dragging me closer so that we were nose to nose.

“Calm down and tell me who you hurt.”

“I can’t.” I didn’t want them knowing about me and Tempest. If they knew I was hanging around her, they’d freak out about me being near drugs again. Not to mention Archer would fucking kill me. He was going to anyway when he made Tempest tell him who beat her up. “We were banging, and she asked me to slap her a little. So I did, but it escalated to me choking her until she freaked out and tried to fight me off. She wanted it, but that’s not the point. I shouldn’t have done it. Fuck!”

“I thought you went to check on a suicidal friend, so how did that end up with you getting laid?” He sounded way too calm considering I just admitted to assaulting someone. “Or is this the same person?” When I nodded, he sighed and patted me on the shoulder. “Okay, sex talk. Let’s go down to the office so we have privacy in case someone comes home.”

“You’re not listening! I liked it! I hurt them and?—”

“They liked it too, right?”

“Yes, but?—”

“Come on, we’re about to have a seriously personal conversation.” I knew he cut Mom sometimes, but it didn’t seem that bad. I let him lead me down to the office, where he locked the door, pointing to a chair. “Sit.”

I did, my chest hurting.

“I don’t want to hurt people. There’s something wrong with me, I need help. It’s been getting worse lately. I hear voices in my head, you know? They tell me to do bad shit. I can’t fucking come without hurting someone.”

That was embarrassing to admit, but he patted my knee, his voice soft. “A lot of your issues are most likely from your addiction recovery, but it could also be sadism. It’s a real kink, Ry, and it’s okay if you’re careful and have a willing partner, which it sounds like you do.”

“So I’m a sadistic predator now?”

“No.” He rubbed his temples, leaning on his elbow to watch me. “I like hurting people too. I like being in charge.”

“We know you like to cut Mom.” I scrunched my nose. “Why?”

“I like making her bleed, Mark too. There’s just something about it that fascinates me, always has. Your mom definitely likes it more than Mark does though. Does your friend like it? She asked you to hurt her?”

He wasn’t judging me, and I relaxed the more we talked.

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